The caffeine took hold of its host once more. Aided with three sugars and a dollop of semi skimmed cow juice the aroma of the instant coffee was none existent through the powdered up nostrils of its creator. the earthy hue span from the stirring with the spoon and splashed about in sync with the cup holders wobble, before burning the throat on its descent. once inside it embarked on a series of chemical reactions that would culminate in its expulsion through the urethra. coffee is a living organism created in the womb of a coffee cup, the stains inside and outside the cup the after birth. Never abort coffee, an empty coffee cup is like a mother who has had her children taken into care.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Coffee Cup - Jow Bates
11:43
As sleep's thick blanket faded back into the familiar duvet that subsumed Joe's drowsy being, a bleary distinction returned to room. Dull light from Sunday's noon worked its way past the thick curtains at the end of the room and had begun to crawl ever closer towards Joe's bed.
"Sunday." He muttered to himself, before placing a hand on the wall to lever himself upright. Still under the anaesthetic of semi-consciousness Joe drudged across the room to his Mac, he wiggled the mouse a few times and the computer gleamed to life with far more efficiency than he could ever muster.
"Sunday." He muttered to himself, before placing a hand on the wall to lever himself upright. Still under the anaesthetic of semi-consciousness Joe drudged across the room to his Mac, he wiggled the mouse a few times and the computer gleamed to life with far more efficiency than he could ever muster.
Reggae Sunday
The house shook with The Mighty Diamonds "Pray Unto Thee" and life began to germinate. Joe stumbled purposefully down the bare wooden stairs of his home toward the kitchen. Bypassing a forlorn looking pile of washing up, Joe flicked on the kettle and the room churned with animation. He heaped a tablespoon of instant coffee into a Strongbow pint glass as the water boiled climactically across from him.
Joe bogelled back upstairs with his pint of coffee and sat down at his Apple Mac computer. He yawned and brushed the sleep from his eyes, sipped his coffee and skipped ahead to the forthcoming Eek-a-mouse album.
"Early, early Sunday morning it was a big ganja smuggling!" He wailed, reaching for his wooden cigar box. He ripped up a couple of Rizla papers wrapped them artistically round a palmful of green, before sliding open his coequally lethargic window.
Joe gazed across the damp Guildford terraces and sipped his coffee, pausing to expel a cloud of incense into the London fog.
Joe bogelled back upstairs with his pint of coffee and sat down at his Apple Mac computer. He yawned and brushed the sleep from his eyes, sipped his coffee and skipped ahead to the forthcoming Eek-a-mouse album.
"Early, early Sunday morning it was a big ganja smuggling!" He wailed, reaching for his wooden cigar box. He ripped up a couple of Rizla papers wrapped them artistically round a palmful of green, before sliding open his coequally lethargic window.
Joe gazed across the damp Guildford terraces and sipped his coffee, pausing to expel a cloud of incense into the London fog.
I've been here before and will come again,
but I'm not going this trip through.
Coffee Cup - D'oh
I like my coffee like I like my men (I don’t even like coffee).
Perhaps it’s just the instant credibility that is received amongst work colleges when it comes to ordering a skinny latte with two Splenda's and using one of those reusable, environmentally friendly coffee cups that seems to say “hey! – I’m smart and sophisticated and I care about things”, all the while, realizing that the ground coffee beans in the cup were harvested from a fragile unsustainable rainforest ecosystem, on the verge of collapse, where the workers; underage, overworked and underpaid are whipped into submission, along with other torturous and carnal methods of motivation.
Sometimes I think; if only they realized… if only they realized that the rest of the world was in an even greater state of disrepair, it might give’m a little perspective.
I mean, had they realized that my Starbucks had run out of Splenda for my skinny latte, they mightn't be so difficult.
Perhaps it’s just the instant credibility that is received amongst work colleges when it comes to ordering a skinny latte with two Splenda's and using one of those reusable, environmentally friendly coffee cups that seems to say “hey! – I’m smart and sophisticated and I care about things”, all the while, realizing that the ground coffee beans in the cup were harvested from a fragile unsustainable rainforest ecosystem, on the verge of collapse, where the workers; underage, overworked and underpaid are whipped into submission, along with other torturous and carnal methods of motivation.
Sometimes I think; if only they realized… if only they realized that the rest of the world was in an even greater state of disrepair, it might give’m a little perspective.
I mean, had they realized that my Starbucks had run out of Splenda for my skinny latte, they mightn't be so difficult.
Coffee Cup - Dogmatix
Stephen didn’t do coffee. Stephen had never done coffee. Stephen did tea and occasionally hot chocolate, but Stephen did not do coffee. Alan knew Stephen didn’t do coffee. Alan knew Stephen had never done Coffee. Alan knew Stephen did tea and occasionally hot chocolate, but Alan knew Stephen did not do coffee.
It was for this very reason that Alan bought Stephen a coffee cup. Nothing extravagant just a simple white ceramic mug with Stephen’s Coffee Cup printed in comic sans around the circumference.
It was for this very reason that Alan bought Stephen a coffee cup. Nothing extravagant just a simple white ceramic mug with Stephen’s Coffee Cup printed in comic sans around the circumference.
Now you or I may think this a trivial gesture with perhaps a few interpretations for meaning, but Stephen knew why Alan had bought him a coffee cup. Perhaps more importantly Alan knew that Stephen knew why Alan had bought him a coffee cup, and Alan had known prior to the purchase that Stephen would know why he had been bought a coffee cup... but that was the point.
Stephen didn’t do coffee, so Stephen could not use the coffee cup. Stephen did tea and
occasionally hot chocolate, and had the mug been printed with the words Stephen’s Tea
and Occasional Hot Chocolate Cup around the circumference there would not have been a problem, unfortunately for Stephen those words were not printed around the circumference, and Stephen was left the owner of a redundant cup.
Again, you or I may think this a trivial issue, and perhaps you would consider pointing out to Stephen, that regardless of the words printed clearly in Comic Sans around the circumference, that in no other way did this cup differ from the other cups & mugs Stephen would use to drink tea and occasionally hot chocolate.
Should you point this out to Stephen, then Stephen would tell you he knew us much, he would then explain to you, at great length, why it was not right to use a cup clearly labelled as a coffee cup for any other purpose. Perhaps after this explanation you would agree with him.
Stephen liked explaining. Stephen did not like Alan.
Alan didn’t do coffee. Alan used to do coffee, Alan did tea and occasionally hot chocolate, but Alan did not do coffee.
Alan liked Coffee. Alan did not like Stephen.
Coffee Cup
Beep-beep Eight Thirty
Kettle, Milk, Late for the bus
Good bye coffee cup
Coffee Cup - CammyWhite
Henry woke up, and, for a second at least, was totally confused he seemed to be laying under some kind of strange white, china dome and was surrounded by the same herby smell that filled the kitchen when his Nan and Mum would sit for hours drinking tea and gossiping about, well whatever it was they gossiped about. Then it all came rushing back, he’d taken shelter under the coffee cup with a tea bag pillow in order to actually get some rest for his very important mission. But before we go into that it may be helpful to back track a little bit.
See Henry was not your average 14 year old boy and all of this started when he was just 5 years old, when his mum had left his Dad and moved them both out to the country, to his Nan’s house. Well on his second day in the house he’d been out exploring the huge and over grown garden and had been convinced he’d seen a fairy, or a pixie, or possibly a nymph of some description. Yes don’t worry, Henry knows how crazy this sounds, which is why as he got older he stopped talking about it, but he knew he’d seen it and had spent years looking to find it again. He had written lots of diaries on the subject, recording all his observations as he knew that when he found the fairy he could prove that it was real and would become rich and famous in the scientific world. Or at least that’s what he thought until last night. Last night, after many close calls, he had finally found the fairy again, only it hadn’t exactly gone to plan. He’d imagined for years sneaking up on the fairy, or maybe spotting it from far away and calling to it, or attracting it with some kind of food or prize but, well, Henry is fairly clumsy, so after spotting a strange rustling in the undergrowth he proceeded to, rather than sneak up and investigate, fall head first over a some kind of root landing straight at the feet of a very small, but very angry looking little creature.
Now he wasn’t sure what exactly he’d been expecting but this certainly wasn’t it! It couldn’t have been more than 4 inches tall, human-ish in shape but leafy and thorny, and it’s skin resembled bark. And to say it was annoyed would have been an understatement! It wanted to know why Henry had been following it, taking photos of it’s trees and setting strange traps around the place, yet at the same time it seemed amused, laughing at strange intervals and appearing to talk to others that Henry couldn’t see. Now in his shocked state he’d tried to have a reasonable discussion with the creature but one thing led to another, there was some shouting, much of it from Henry and well, the creature had shrunk him and this just wasn’t going to do!
So here we are, Henry, kitted with some miniature weapons he’d once fashioned to give to the creature, was now going to try to find it, save his mouse (oh yes, I didn’t tell you about the mouse did I? Well there’s a mouse) and then convince it to change him back to his normal human size. Well let’s just hope he has a plan!
See Henry was not your average 14 year old boy and all of this started when he was just 5 years old, when his mum had left his Dad and moved them both out to the country, to his Nan’s house. Well on his second day in the house he’d been out exploring the huge and over grown garden and had been convinced he’d seen a fairy, or a pixie, or possibly a nymph of some description. Yes don’t worry, Henry knows how crazy this sounds, which is why as he got older he stopped talking about it, but he knew he’d seen it and had spent years looking to find it again. He had written lots of diaries on the subject, recording all his observations as he knew that when he found the fairy he could prove that it was real and would become rich and famous in the scientific world. Or at least that’s what he thought until last night. Last night, after many close calls, he had finally found the fairy again, only it hadn’t exactly gone to plan. He’d imagined for years sneaking up on the fairy, or maybe spotting it from far away and calling to it, or attracting it with some kind of food or prize but, well, Henry is fairly clumsy, so after spotting a strange rustling in the undergrowth he proceeded to, rather than sneak up and investigate, fall head first over a some kind of root landing straight at the feet of a very small, but very angry looking little creature.
Now he wasn’t sure what exactly he’d been expecting but this certainly wasn’t it! It couldn’t have been more than 4 inches tall, human-ish in shape but leafy and thorny, and it’s skin resembled bark. And to say it was annoyed would have been an understatement! It wanted to know why Henry had been following it, taking photos of it’s trees and setting strange traps around the place, yet at the same time it seemed amused, laughing at strange intervals and appearing to talk to others that Henry couldn’t see. Now in his shocked state he’d tried to have a reasonable discussion with the creature but one thing led to another, there was some shouting, much of it from Henry and well, the creature had shrunk him and this just wasn’t going to do!
So here we are, Henry, kitted with some miniature weapons he’d once fashioned to give to the creature, was now going to try to find it, save his mouse (oh yes, I didn’t tell you about the mouse did I? Well there’s a mouse) and then convince it to change him back to his normal human size. Well let’s just hope he has a plan!
Coffee Cup - Butters
This was exactly what she needed.
She sat cross-legged, up against the side of the booth near the window, so she could watch the world go by. She often came here. Nobody quite understood why she was always on her own, sinking into her seat, writing in her book. Perhaps she just wanted to forget everything?
I’ve worked here five years.
She’s been coming in way before I even started. Everybody knows her name. Daisy. Wednesdays and Fridays without fail, she’ll be sat there. Nobody ever quite knows what she’s waiting for, but her mind just seems to sit and drift. I’d contemplated sparking up more of a conversation once, but she always seemed too deep in thought. I always trip over my words, too. I often wondered how much thought you can harbor at twenty three. She intrigued me. Her long, dark tousled hair always looked perfect, with the deepest of mocha eyes to match. She never needed much make up either, she always looked perfect. I wish I could tell her just that.
***
“Flat white pleeease, Sean!”
No cake today. I need to stop eating cake, it’s making me fat.
Sean is such a sweetheart. He always puts a heart on the top of my coffee, bless him. He’s gorgeous, too. He has the whole dark and mysterious look going on, with just the right amount of stubble. The kind that screams rough and rugged. He must have been here about five years now. He seems more shy than he looks. Always tripping over his words. Then again, I always look preoccupied. I’m not, I just think too much. I need to stop coming in here so much. Granted, I used to come in before Sean worked here. But not this often. I’m not sure he knows that. He must think I’m just one of those crazy regulars, always on my own. I wonder what he’d make of it if he did? Probably nothing. But I can dream.
***
She loves writing dark fiction.
She’d never show me any of her work though, her view is that it’s “never finished”. I just wanted the chance to talk to her about something we have in common. She doesn’t know that, though. I always fall before I have the chance. Dark graphic novels are my thing. We’d be great. “There you go, Daisy!” I always sound awkward in my own head. I wonder if she thinks I’m awkward? Maybe I should just go for it.
***
Maybe I should just ask him. The way he looks at me suggests he’d say yes. But.
“Hey, Sean!?” he turns, a smile spread across his face. “Do you wanna like, hang out sometime?” That sounded retarded.
“Absolutely... I was just about to ask you the same thing.” he couldn’t shift the childish smile from his face.
She went for it.
Maybe it would be more than just a heart in a coffee cup.
She sat cross-legged, up against the side of the booth near the window, so she could watch the world go by. She often came here. Nobody quite understood why she was always on her own, sinking into her seat, writing in her book. Perhaps she just wanted to forget everything?
I’ve worked here five years.
She’s been coming in way before I even started. Everybody knows her name. Daisy. Wednesdays and Fridays without fail, she’ll be sat there. Nobody ever quite knows what she’s waiting for, but her mind just seems to sit and drift. I’d contemplated sparking up more of a conversation once, but she always seemed too deep in thought. I always trip over my words, too. I often wondered how much thought you can harbor at twenty three. She intrigued me. Her long, dark tousled hair always looked perfect, with the deepest of mocha eyes to match. She never needed much make up either, she always looked perfect. I wish I could tell her just that.
***
“Flat white pleeease, Sean!”
No cake today. I need to stop eating cake, it’s making me fat.
Sean is such a sweetheart. He always puts a heart on the top of my coffee, bless him. He’s gorgeous, too. He has the whole dark and mysterious look going on, with just the right amount of stubble. The kind that screams rough and rugged. He must have been here about five years now. He seems more shy than he looks. Always tripping over his words. Then again, I always look preoccupied. I’m not, I just think too much. I need to stop coming in here so much. Granted, I used to come in before Sean worked here. But not this often. I’m not sure he knows that. He must think I’m just one of those crazy regulars, always on my own. I wonder what he’d make of it if he did? Probably nothing. But I can dream.
***
She loves writing dark fiction.
She’d never show me any of her work though, her view is that it’s “never finished”. I just wanted the chance to talk to her about something we have in common. She doesn’t know that, though. I always fall before I have the chance. Dark graphic novels are my thing. We’d be great. “There you go, Daisy!” I always sound awkward in my own head. I wonder if she thinks I’m awkward? Maybe I should just go for it.
***
Maybe I should just ask him. The way he looks at me suggests he’d say yes. But.
“Hey, Sean!?” he turns, a smile spread across his face. “Do you wanna like, hang out sometime?” That sounded retarded.
“Absolutely... I was just about to ask you the same thing.” he couldn’t shift the childish smile from his face.
She went for it.
Maybe it would be more than just a heart in a coffee cup.
Coffee Cup - David Ralph
Coffee mmmmm......... Coffee!! Well it would be if it wasn't tea sitting in my bloody cup ! I'm never going to work! Damn coffee-heads with their espresso's!
Coffee Cup - John Browski
I'm on my second cup of coffee today, and I just moved into my missus's house. We've had two loads of kids round today already, despite it being "dad week", and we're watching The Wire.
Coffee is keeping me going today, as I'm KNACKERED. Just moved. Think I said that a minute ago. Can't remember. That's why I need coffee.
The kids need DS's, power leads and to drop off clothes to here rather than at Dad's. So me and the missus are in bed, drinking coffee, and the girls keep popping over.
It's lovely in a lot of ways, as they obviously feel comfortable here and want to come over, although it's stopping us watch The Wire.
I write this as they are here. There's some kind of thing going on with points for a DS, which completely baffles me, although Loz is explaining it as I type.
Just to paint a picture, the bedroom bedside light is on, we're still in bed, and the girls are wandering / bouncing around the house. The DVD is on pause and Susie is dishing out blackberry soothers as the girls are ill. Well, they have colds.
The dog is fawning over Loz, and now everything has gone quiet. Just another Sunday morning. However, I still have my coffee. :)
Coffee is keeping me going today, as I'm KNACKERED. Just moved. Think I said that a minute ago. Can't remember. That's why I need coffee.
The kids need DS's, power leads and to drop off clothes to here rather than at Dad's. So me and the missus are in bed, drinking coffee, and the girls keep popping over.
It's lovely in a lot of ways, as they obviously feel comfortable here and want to come over, although it's stopping us watch The Wire.
I write this as they are here. There's some kind of thing going on with points for a DS, which completely baffles me, although Loz is explaining it as I type.
Just to paint a picture, the bedroom bedside light is on, we're still in bed, and the girls are wandering / bouncing around the house. The DVD is on pause and Susie is dishing out blackberry soothers as the girls are ill. Well, they have colds.
The dog is fawning over Loz, and now everything has gone quiet. Just another Sunday morning. However, I still have my coffee. :)
Coffee Cup - Beau
There he sat, mug in hand, looking guilty. Theresa entered the room in a stern demeanor, saw him, and said "George, you fucking fuck-wit; I have half a mind to dismantle your entire body right now.". George turned his head nonchalantly and flicked her the bird.
Then a big scary monster jumped out from the closet and ate them both.
(YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING, DID YOU?)
Then a big scary monster jumped out from the closet and ate them both.
(YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING, DID YOU?)
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Concrete Surf - D'oh
My stomach churned at the mention of my name.
“Please welcome on, Mark Blackwell!!” The announcer left the stage as the crowd erupted in a swell of unenthused applause which ended quite abruptly. I fumbled with the mic, clumsily adjusting the height on the stand. I could feel a room full of blank stares on me as they watched me fuck around with such a simple task.
“H-hi there…how are you?” My voice came out broken, disjointed. It was the nerves. I paused for a moment for some kind of response from the audience, but got nothing. In my mind, I could hear the soundtrack of crickets playing back, loudly.
“My name is Mark Blackwell, this is one of my first gigs on the tour, so forgive me if I fuck-up epically… Oh shit. Can I say “fuck” on this tour?” I look over to the tour manager “Is that allowed? I think I just Fucked Up epically” The crowd chuckled, and it seemed to lighten the mood quite drastically.
“So I went surfing yesterday, yea, I got out there met some people, googled at some chicks in Bikinis…yea, you know what I’m talking about guys.” I coolly nodded “And then, all of a sudden, this window pops up telling me that I’m the 1 millionth visitor to bikinisandclevage.com… I was fucking stoked.” Laughter filled the room “Oh, sorry, did you actually think I left my house? Have you looked at me lately?” I drew up my sleeves, and pointed to my milky white complexion. “I’ve been working on this tan for a while now. I’m on a strict regime of basement fluorescents and computer UV. The reason why I’m so pale is that my skin’s very reactive to proper “real” sun. My body just freckles up like you wouldn’t believe. Actually, yesterday, I found this website for people like me, it has on it, and I swear to God this is true, this image of a sun. It’s great! I have it on during the day, pretend I’m outside” more laughter, I am a God.
“With skin like mine, you’d think I was a closeted ginger. I’m NOT by the way - a ginger…I’d rather be a closeted gay. I mean, NOT that there’s anything wrong with it. I know a lot of gingers who grow up and live very long productive lives in society.. Sure, most of the ones I know are scrapping gum out of our concrete pavements at night. They don’t work during the day…sunlight and all. They do try to avoid working during full moons, that’s when the moon is at it’s brightest you see and when they’re most susceptible to skin damage I suppose, but those people, those gingers are out there, risking it all so they can take part in our integral society…God bless’m” In the corner of my eye, the tour manager tapped on his watch, code for ‘wrap it up, times up’. It was a shame because it’d hardly felt like it had been 3 minutes. Sure, I probably wasted a whole minute adjusting the fucking microphone, but I had a lot more material to throw out there.
“Anyway, my name’s Mark Blackwell, and thanks for being such a great non-ginger audience, poice”.
“Please welcome on, Mark Blackwell!!” The announcer left the stage as the crowd erupted in a swell of unenthused applause which ended quite abruptly. I fumbled with the mic, clumsily adjusting the height on the stand. I could feel a room full of blank stares on me as they watched me fuck around with such a simple task.
“H-hi there…how are you?” My voice came out broken, disjointed. It was the nerves. I paused for a moment for some kind of response from the audience, but got nothing. In my mind, I could hear the soundtrack of crickets playing back, loudly.
“My name is Mark Blackwell, this is one of my first gigs on the tour, so forgive me if I fuck-up epically… Oh shit. Can I say “fuck” on this tour?” I look over to the tour manager “Is that allowed? I think I just Fucked Up epically” The crowd chuckled, and it seemed to lighten the mood quite drastically.
“So I went surfing yesterday, yea, I got out there met some people, googled at some chicks in Bikinis…yea, you know what I’m talking about guys.” I coolly nodded “And then, all of a sudden, this window pops up telling me that I’m the 1 millionth visitor to bikinisandclevage.com… I was fucking stoked.” Laughter filled the room “Oh, sorry, did you actually think I left my house? Have you looked at me lately?” I drew up my sleeves, and pointed to my milky white complexion. “I’ve been working on this tan for a while now. I’m on a strict regime of basement fluorescents and computer UV. The reason why I’m so pale is that my skin’s very reactive to proper “real” sun. My body just freckles up like you wouldn’t believe. Actually, yesterday, I found this website for people like me, it has on it, and I swear to God this is true, this image of a sun. It’s great! I have it on during the day, pretend I’m outside” more laughter, I am a God.
“With skin like mine, you’d think I was a closeted ginger. I’m NOT by the way - a ginger…I’d rather be a closeted gay. I mean, NOT that there’s anything wrong with it. I know a lot of gingers who grow up and live very long productive lives in society.. Sure, most of the ones I know are scrapping gum out of our concrete pavements at night. They don’t work during the day…sunlight and all. They do try to avoid working during full moons, that’s when the moon is at it’s brightest you see and when they’re most susceptible to skin damage I suppose, but those people, those gingers are out there, risking it all so they can take part in our integral society…God bless’m” In the corner of my eye, the tour manager tapped on his watch, code for ‘wrap it up, times up’. It was a shame because it’d hardly felt like it had been 3 minutes. Sure, I probably wasted a whole minute adjusting the fucking microphone, but I had a lot more material to throw out there.
“Anyway, my name’s Mark Blackwell, and thanks for being such a great non-ginger audience, poice”.
Concrete Surf - Jow Bates
12:30 - The waves of business break for lunch
The noon tide began to swell at Starbucks, an unremitting sea of pastel shirts and vibrant, yet acceptable neckties flooded in. Jason sipped a small macchiato and blinked the Excel lines from his vision to survey the high-water mark of businessmen. He listened to the off-shore winds of polite conversation and work-related banter, "I'm just like them." he thought. Working through lunch, treading water in the riptides of London's struggling economy, no amount of romanticising could keep him afloat for long in this climate. The waves of espresso and half-caf frappuccionos crashed over an undaunted coastline of lost souls. This was his life, his board now an ergonomics management keyboard, the smell of the sea lost between working lunches and dinner reservations.
Jason rubbed his eyes, how many more years? He was 40 in two months, what did he have to show for it? His BMW Camper traded in for a Hybrid, with 8 year warranty.
"Fucking 8 year warranty." He muttered to himself. The king tide was receding at Starbucks, the schools of businessmen swam back to their desks and the in-shore winds of 5 o'clock beckoned.
Jason opened his Hotmail;
The noon tide began to swell at Starbucks, an unremitting sea of pastel shirts and vibrant, yet acceptable neckties flooded in. Jason sipped a small macchiato and blinked the Excel lines from his vision to survey the high-water mark of businessmen. He listened to the off-shore winds of polite conversation and work-related banter, "I'm just like them." he thought. Working through lunch, treading water in the riptides of London's struggling economy, no amount of romanticising could keep him afloat for long in this climate. The waves of espresso and half-caf frappuccionos crashed over an undaunted coastline of lost souls. This was his life, his board now an ergonomics management keyboard, the smell of the sea lost between working lunches and dinner reservations.
Jason rubbed his eyes, how many more years? He was 40 in two months, what did he have to show for it? His BMW Camper traded in for a Hybrid, with 8 year warranty.
"Fucking 8 year warranty." He muttered to himself. The king tide was receding at Starbucks, the schools of businessmen swam back to their desks and the in-shore winds of 5 o'clock beckoned.
Jason opened his Hotmail;
We the wayward souls of sea,
Cast sail to wind and board to be,
As we catch Poseidon's breath,
Hold tight our boom on windward crest.
Send.
Concrete Surf - Fargo
"A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do."
- I’m not sure I agree with this, paedophiles and serial killers are not, in my book a success, well the ones who get caught are not!
"You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows."
- It may be handy in a nightclub!
"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."
- Good news for people on the dole!
"If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace."
- Battle of Hastings ??
Concrete Surf
The End
- I’m not sure I agree with this, paedophiles and serial killers are not, in my book a success, well the ones who get caught are not!
"You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows."
- It may be handy in a nightclub!
"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."
- Good news for people on the dole!
"If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace."
- Battle of Hastings ??
Concrete Surf
The End
Concrete Surf - Dogmatix
Rewind play eject
Black and white fish-eye lens shot
Old Bones Brigade tape
Black and white fish-eye lens shot
Old Bones Brigade tape
Concrete Surf - Guy Mortimer
John always hated early morning, he always thinks this hatred is due to the fact of having a sleeping pattern which requires him to drink until he falls over. This was a different morning though, yes last night he indeed had a few drinks, indeed he woke up with his legs in the bath tub and his face on the floor.
As John woke up and found himself in a very strange sleeping position. There was two reasons why the day was a perfect start for him, firstly because in his bathroom with him was a naked chick, witch means John must have done something right in his drunken state. Secondly he could hear a very strong wind coming in though the window. Indeed john was a windsurfer. As he walked towards the kitchen he stopped in the living room and turned on the T.V to find a man with a very fake tan and a very fake smile informing the people of very strong winds and big waves. This made John move a lot faster than he would normally.
After John was finished filling up his small car with red bull's and windsurfing kit his room mate came down the stairs shouting to John to clean up, but John laughed at this and replied "I'm off, tell that girl in the bathroom you don't know me" the reply from his flat mate bill was not what he wanted to hear "She knows who you are, that's Beth." At this point John drove away as fast as he could.
Driving as fast as he could John finally got to the beach after a 15 min journey and 4 red bull's, as he got out of the car so did lots of empty can and sandwich packets. Everybody knew John at the beach because he was a amazing windsurfer as well as the fact that he would often empty last nights beers out of his stomach before he did any thing.
John was finally ready to go on the water it took him 30 mins to set up his kit but he was very happy today was very windy with 3 meter waves, there wasn't much beach left, the tide was very high and with the waves the water was almost on the road. In a hurry John jumped on his board and off he went, a little warm up he thought as he was still a bit dizzy, he went out and turned around, surfing back to the beach now, John went for a small jump, straight away he was in the air thinking this was a bad idea. BANG a loud crash as John landed on the road some guy shouting "Haha, CONCRETE SURF!"
As John woke up and found himself in a very strange sleeping position. There was two reasons why the day was a perfect start for him, firstly because in his bathroom with him was a naked chick, witch means John must have done something right in his drunken state. Secondly he could hear a very strong wind coming in though the window. Indeed john was a windsurfer. As he walked towards the kitchen he stopped in the living room and turned on the T.V to find a man with a very fake tan and a very fake smile informing the people of very strong winds and big waves. This made John move a lot faster than he would normally.
After John was finished filling up his small car with red bull's and windsurfing kit his room mate came down the stairs shouting to John to clean up, but John laughed at this and replied "I'm off, tell that girl in the bathroom you don't know me" the reply from his flat mate bill was not what he wanted to hear "She knows who you are, that's Beth." At this point John drove away as fast as he could.
Driving as fast as he could John finally got to the beach after a 15 min journey and 4 red bull's, as he got out of the car so did lots of empty can and sandwich packets. Everybody knew John at the beach because he was a amazing windsurfer as well as the fact that he would often empty last nights beers out of his stomach before he did any thing.
John was finally ready to go on the water it took him 30 mins to set up his kit but he was very happy today was very windy with 3 meter waves, there wasn't much beach left, the tide was very high and with the waves the water was almost on the road. In a hurry John jumped on his board and off he went, a little warm up he thought as he was still a bit dizzy, he went out and turned around, surfing back to the beach now, John went for a small jump, straight away he was in the air thinking this was a bad idea. BANG a loud crash as John landed on the road some guy shouting "Haha, CONCRETE SURF!"
Concrete Surf - Beau
The times are changing
As they always do
Economies are failing
Unemployment offices have long queues
Children are starving
Politicians are lying
About the state of the Earth
Saying "Our planet is frying!"
Global warming's a scam
But there's been a change in the Earth
It's obvious when in Australia
You can now concrete surf
As they always do
Economies are failing
Unemployment offices have long queues
Children are starving
Politicians are lying
About the state of the Earth
Saying "Our planet is frying!"
Global warming's a scam
But there's been a change in the Earth
It's obvious when in Australia
You can now concrete surf
Concrete Surf - Michelle Goodwin
Can we find peace on the sea?
Not if we are stuck in this concrete mindset.. a shift in attitude and outlook is a possible positive change huh? I don't want to tell you what to do .. just maybe think about it :)
My friend sent me a beautiful letter once saying that most wipeouts are invigorating energy baths that offer us opportunities to beat fear in a confrontational situation.
Love your wipeouts....with kindness... its not about being reckless but recognising you're safe.. and trusting in the situation. Enjoy the messy side of the wave ..
Freedom from doubt is connected with humour, joy and celebration... if you trust the situation you can afford to smile. Trust brings you gentleness, doubtlessness and relaxation.
Which then allows us to be open to let go and experience the whole ocean ..so we are not just banging against the concrete! We want to avoid this concrete surf.. stuck not going anywhere...
If you have any doubt that you are surfing right or wrong, it doesn't matter. the main point is to have honesty in yourself. doing what you feel is best... this is self trust.
Not if we are stuck in this concrete mindset.. a shift in attitude and outlook is a possible positive change huh? I don't want to tell you what to do .. just maybe think about it :)
My friend sent me a beautiful letter once saying that most wipeouts are invigorating energy baths that offer us opportunities to beat fear in a confrontational situation.
Love your wipeouts....with kindness... its not about being reckless but recognising you're safe.. and trusting in the situation. Enjoy the messy side of the wave ..
Freedom from doubt is connected with humour, joy and celebration... if you trust the situation you can afford to smile. Trust brings you gentleness, doubtlessness and relaxation.
Which then allows us to be open to let go and experience the whole ocean ..so we are not just banging against the concrete! We want to avoid this concrete surf.. stuck not going anywhere...
If you have any doubt that you are surfing right or wrong, it doesn't matter. the main point is to have honesty in yourself. doing what you feel is best... this is self trust.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Being Tired - Butters
The question I chose to look at for this piece of coursework was question 2, in which I compare and contrast Börjars and Burridge’s ‘Introducing English Grammar’ (2001) to another book on grammar. I chose to look at ‘Grammar: A Student’s Guide’ (1994) by James Hurford for my main comparison book. I also looked at David Crystal’s ‘Rediscover Grammar’ as a link between the two.
Börjars and Burridge’s book is an in-depth look at the English grammar, which extensively covers all aspects, from the rules of English grammar through to sentence structures, clauses and functions.
I fell asleep.
Börjars and Burridge’s book is an in-depth look at the English grammar, which extensively covers all aspects, from the rules of English grammar through to sentence structures, clauses and functions.
I fell asleep.
Being Tired - Jow Bates
He Drank
It wasn't the drinking that was the problem, it was not having anyone to drink with.
Karl still wasn't entirely sure about honorifics, San, Kun, Chan, something, apparently not using an honorific was a sign of familiarity. "Funny culture." He thought to himself, sidestepping pushbikes and ducking umbrellas. It had been over a year since Karl had given up drinking.
"There's a lot of umbrellas about."
"Yes, a lot of people won't like to get wet." Said Rin.
"Yep.."
Karl couldn't really imagine having much of a conversation with Rin, he was nice enough, just, well.
"Do you like Tokyo?" Rin questioned, grinning enthusiastically.
"Yeah, it's a bit like a very polite Bladerunner."
"Okay." Nodded Rin.
"I need to get drunk, mate."
He Slept
Sleeping is easy, falling asleep isn't.
"The London Eye was shit." Thought James, as he watched the landmark in question rotate slowly from his hotel balcony.
"What a shit… Eye." He said to all of London, leaning heavily on the railing. The Eye turned slowly in what James deemed to by an arrogant display of self-purposefulness.
"Fuckin' wheel!" He shouted.
He Woke
Wake to drunken slumber, the night is here and you're not getting any younger.
:((>| Noel |<)): hey
:((>| Noel |<)): watchu been up to?
:((>| Noel |<)): ...
Kayz Laa: Hey Noel, not much, you?
:((>| Noel |<)): yeh im gud thx!
:((>| Noel |<)): lol, i mean not much either
Kayz Laa: What you doing online this hour?
:((>| Noel |<)): ah im always up late these days
Kayz Laa: Fair play, i'm in Oz at the moment!
:((>| Noel |<)): aaah! jeslousx, i'm still in edmonton, you know kay, i dn';t think people here are all that interesting you know?
Kayz Laa: No? They're alright!
:((>| Noel |<)): yeah, i just don't really think they get me most of the time, it's been ages since i spoke to you
Kayz Laa: Ah shit, I've got to go Noel, nice speaking though!
:((>| Noel |<)): ah! ok kay, speak soon!
Kayz Laa has gone offline.
:((>| Noel |<)): miss you!
Following message could not be sent:
:((>| Noel |<)): miss you!
He Dreamt.
As to sleep is, we fall but not to wake.
It wasn't the drinking that was the problem, it was not having anyone to drink with.
Karl still wasn't entirely sure about honorifics, San, Kun, Chan, something, apparently not using an honorific was a sign of familiarity. "Funny culture." He thought to himself, sidestepping pushbikes and ducking umbrellas. It had been over a year since Karl had given up drinking.
"There's a lot of umbrellas about."
"Yes, a lot of people won't like to get wet." Said Rin.
"Yep.."
Karl couldn't really imagine having much of a conversation with Rin, he was nice enough, just, well.
"Do you like Tokyo?" Rin questioned, grinning enthusiastically.
"Yeah, it's a bit like a very polite Bladerunner."
"Okay." Nodded Rin.
"I need to get drunk, mate."
He Slept
Sleeping is easy, falling asleep isn't.
"The London Eye was shit." Thought James, as he watched the landmark in question rotate slowly from his hotel balcony.
"What a shit… Eye." He said to all of London, leaning heavily on the railing. The Eye turned slowly in what James deemed to by an arrogant display of self-purposefulness.
"Fuckin' wheel!" He shouted.
He Woke
Wake to drunken slumber, the night is here and you're not getting any younger.
:((>| Noel |<)): hey
:((>| Noel |<)): watchu been up to?
:((>| Noel |<)): ...
Kayz Laa: Hey Noel, not much, you?
:((>| Noel |<)): yeh im gud thx!
:((>| Noel |<)): lol, i mean not much either
Kayz Laa: What you doing online this hour?
:((>| Noel |<)): ah im always up late these days
Kayz Laa: Fair play, i'm in Oz at the moment!
:((>| Noel |<)): aaah! jeslousx, i'm still in edmonton, you know kay, i dn';t think people here are all that interesting you know?
Kayz Laa: No? They're alright!
:((>| Noel |<)): yeah, i just don't really think they get me most of the time, it's been ages since i spoke to you
Kayz Laa: Ah shit, I've got to go Noel, nice speaking though!
:((>| Noel |<)): ah! ok kay, speak soon!
Kayz Laa has gone offline.
:((>| Noel |<)): miss you!
Following message could not be sent:
:((>| Noel |<)): miss you!
He Dreamt.
As to sleep is, we fall but not to wake.
Being Tired - D'oh
A poem for my beloved – so don’t say I’m not romantic.
There once was a man named Jow Bates,
Who could never get to sleep till quite late.
He’d spend the whole night,
Trying to get his fantasy team right,
But his girlfriend has now just overtake.
Suck it Bates.
There once was a man named Jow Bates,
Who could never get to sleep till quite late.
He’d spend the whole night,
Trying to get his fantasy team right,
But his girlfriend has now just overtake.
Suck it Bates.
Being Tired - Beau
My arms are worn out
And I'm getting fucking knackered
I'd like to scream and shout
But, alas, I'm way too taciturn
They tell me "You should work hard to make a decent wage."
But I refuse to be trapped in a capitalistic cage
The same folks who preach to me are dying of old age,
Hoping they get paid in a few more days
So I'll bide my time
In between of making rhymes
While you stroke your dick of a boss
I'll be rubbing mine
(because I'm bored)
And I'm getting fucking knackered
I'd like to scream and shout
But, alas, I'm way too taciturn
They tell me "You should work hard to make a decent wage."
But I refuse to be trapped in a capitalistic cage
The same folks who preach to me are dying of old age,
Hoping they get paid in a few more days
So I'll bide my time
In between of making rhymes
While you stroke your dick of a boss
I'll be rubbing mine
(because I'm bored)
Being Tired - Tom Wood
Eyes are red and sore
The clock tick-tocks to slumber
But you're worth the wait
The clock tick-tocks to slumber
But you're worth the wait
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Iron Fish - Fargo
EXT: OUTSIDE JAMES, A YOUNG INVENTOR OF SORTS, WITH WILD HAIR AND LITTLE SPECTACLES LAYING ON THE RIM OF HIS NOSE WALKS OVER TO HIS FRIEND, NORMAN, AND LOOKS AT HIM WITH UTTER EXCITEMENT. NORMAN STANDS THERE NOT LOOKING AMUSED.
NORMAN
Why on earth did u wake me this early James honestly I have a busy day ahead.
JAMES
Ah Norman your enthusiasm is touching, truly it is. The reason in which I have woke u is because I have created the greatest machine of all time.
NORMAN
(Looking very confused, then the confusion turns to a look of boredom)
James, in all honesty I have to say the thought of punching you has never been even occurred to me until now, in fact the idea seems so good I find it impossible not to rid it from my brain, like a terminal tumor if you will.
JAMES
(Happily)
Pipe down Norman, its only 6 in the morning on this fine summers day and I assure you that its going to be a busy one, but Im afraid it you wont be spending it at work.
NORMAN
(Anger turning to unintentional enthusiasm)
What on earth are you going on about? Look I haven’t time to waste I will have to leave here in just a few minutes, now will you get on with it, what this thing that you have created that’s excites you so!
JAMES
I sense a little enthusiasm in your voice Norman
NORMAN ROLLS HIS EYES, JAMES GRABS HIS ARMS AND THEY WALK AROUND THE CORNER OF JAMES HOUSE AND INTO THE BARN IN THE PADDOCK. IN THE BARN THERE LOOKS TO BE A MACHINE UNDER A COVER, NORMAN CANT SEE WHAT IT IS, BUT ITS QUITE BIG.
NORMAN
Well, what’s this James, is it a machine?
JAMES
(looking excited and pleased with himself)
A Machine of sorts yes.
NORMAN
Well can you uncover this, as I say I simply haven’t the time.
JAMES
Look, lets get this one thing straight, we are going to spend the day together in this wonderful invention of mine. I assure you, your going to be amazed.
NORMAN
Ok then James, I can see this is going to be a very trying day for me, so uncover this and amaze me, and I will consider spending the day fawning over your genius and the beauty over your machine.
JAMES
That you will, that you will.
NORMAN ROLLS HIS EYES AGAIN, AS JAMES WALKS OVER TO HIS MACHINE. HE GRASPS
HOLD OF ONE END OF THE COVER WHICH LAYS OVER THIS MACHINE WHICH IS SLIGHTLY BIGGER THEN BOTH MEN. JAMES THEN MOTIONS NORMAN TO GRAB THE OTHER SIDE. THEY PULL OFF THE COVER AND UNCOVER JAMES INVENTION WITH IS WHAT APPEARS TO BE A GIANT IRON FISH WITH A WINDOW WHICH NORMAN NOTICES HAS A COCKPIT WITH TWO SEATS. NORMAN STANDS THE CONFUSED, STUNNED ANNOYED AND VERY ANGRY ALL AT ONCE. JAMES STANDS THERE PROUD AND OVER THE MOON WITH JOY. NORMAN THROWS JAMES AN ANGRY LOOK.
NORMAN
What the FUCK is this, a joke?
JAMES
What on earth are you talking about, its a great machine is Pauline.
NORMAN
(Through gritted teeth)
Pauline?
JAMES
Yes Norman I named her Pauline after the late Wendy Richards from Eastenders, I have always had a strange crush on her ever since I saw the repeats of are you being served when I was a boy.
NORMAN
Even while she was that shouty old hag in a soap opera.
JAMES
Yes indeed, it seemed more naughty to fancy an old lady, any slightly off topic now, this machine, I a space ship, it had rockets at the back which you will see, it acts like a plane, but can fly into deep space, I have studied for years and this has been a project I have had since I was a boy when I fell off the toilet and banged my head.
NORMAN
That explains it. It’s a giant fish.
JAMES
I like fish, that’s where the idea was born, in my toilet by my fish tank. And you Norman you are to be with me on my first trip into the great unknown.
NORMAN
Are you mental I’m not going in that thing, your insane.
JAMES
Perhaps, or maybe the greatest mind of all time.
NORMAN
I'm sticking with insane.
JAMES
Come with me Norman.
JAMES CLIMBS INTO THE MACHINE. PUTS ON SOME GOGGLES AND LOOKS HAPPILY AT NORMAN
JAMES
Come Norman
NORMAN
(Stands still)
No thanks I will wait here to see what happens.
JAMES
So be it, you are about to witness a new first, something so remarkable it will imprint on your mind and soul forever.
NORMAN
Its not safe James.
JAMES NOT HEARING A WORD NORMAN SAID FIRES UP THE ENGINE, AND DRIVES THE IRON FISH OUT OF THE BARN. NORMAN MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND FOLLOWS THE FISH OUTSIDE OF THE BARN, JAMES THROWS A LOOK TO NORMAN AND SALUTES, NORMAN AGAIN ROLLS HIS EYES BUT SALUTES BACK. JAMES PULLS AWAY FAST IN THE FISH, AND THEN AFTER A MINUTES IT TAKES OFF IN THE AIR AND IT FLIES HIGH, THEN HIGHER AND HIGHER, NORMAN LOOKS AMAZED. THEN ITS OUT OF EYESIGHT. NORMAN CLAPS AND JUMPS AROUND. THEN A FEW SECONDS LATER IT COMES FLYING DOWN, NORMAN LOOKS WORRIED AND SCARED AND SHOUT FOR JAMES, THE IRON FISH FALLING THROUGH THE SKY IN ON FIRE AND IT SMASHES DOWN IN THE FIELD IN A BIG BALL OF FLAMES. NORMAN JUMPS UP HAVING FALLEN DOWN AND STANDS THERE SHOCKED. JAMES IS DEAD IT'S AN ON FIRE IRON FISH.
NORMAN
Why on earth did u wake me this early James honestly I have a busy day ahead.
JAMES
Ah Norman your enthusiasm is touching, truly it is. The reason in which I have woke u is because I have created the greatest machine of all time.
NORMAN
(Looking very confused, then the confusion turns to a look of boredom)
James, in all honesty I have to say the thought of punching you has never been even occurred to me until now, in fact the idea seems so good I find it impossible not to rid it from my brain, like a terminal tumor if you will.
JAMES
(Happily)
Pipe down Norman, its only 6 in the morning on this fine summers day and I assure you that its going to be a busy one, but Im afraid it you wont be spending it at work.
NORMAN
(Anger turning to unintentional enthusiasm)
What on earth are you going on about? Look I haven’t time to waste I will have to leave here in just a few minutes, now will you get on with it, what this thing that you have created that’s excites you so!
JAMES
I sense a little enthusiasm in your voice Norman
NORMAN ROLLS HIS EYES, JAMES GRABS HIS ARMS AND THEY WALK AROUND THE CORNER OF JAMES HOUSE AND INTO THE BARN IN THE PADDOCK. IN THE BARN THERE LOOKS TO BE A MACHINE UNDER A COVER, NORMAN CANT SEE WHAT IT IS, BUT ITS QUITE BIG.
NORMAN
Well, what’s this James, is it a machine?
JAMES
(looking excited and pleased with himself)
A Machine of sorts yes.
NORMAN
Well can you uncover this, as I say I simply haven’t the time.
JAMES
Look, lets get this one thing straight, we are going to spend the day together in this wonderful invention of mine. I assure you, your going to be amazed.
NORMAN
Ok then James, I can see this is going to be a very trying day for me, so uncover this and amaze me, and I will consider spending the day fawning over your genius and the beauty over your machine.
JAMES
That you will, that you will.
NORMAN ROLLS HIS EYES AGAIN, AS JAMES WALKS OVER TO HIS MACHINE. HE GRASPS
HOLD OF ONE END OF THE COVER WHICH LAYS OVER THIS MACHINE WHICH IS SLIGHTLY BIGGER THEN BOTH MEN. JAMES THEN MOTIONS NORMAN TO GRAB THE OTHER SIDE. THEY PULL OFF THE COVER AND UNCOVER JAMES INVENTION WITH IS WHAT APPEARS TO BE A GIANT IRON FISH WITH A WINDOW WHICH NORMAN NOTICES HAS A COCKPIT WITH TWO SEATS. NORMAN STANDS THE CONFUSED, STUNNED ANNOYED AND VERY ANGRY ALL AT ONCE. JAMES STANDS THERE PROUD AND OVER THE MOON WITH JOY. NORMAN THROWS JAMES AN ANGRY LOOK.
NORMAN
What the FUCK is this, a joke?
JAMES
What on earth are you talking about, its a great machine is Pauline.
NORMAN
(Through gritted teeth)
Pauline?
JAMES
Yes Norman I named her Pauline after the late Wendy Richards from Eastenders, I have always had a strange crush on her ever since I saw the repeats of are you being served when I was a boy.
NORMAN
Even while she was that shouty old hag in a soap opera.
JAMES
Yes indeed, it seemed more naughty to fancy an old lady, any slightly off topic now, this machine, I a space ship, it had rockets at the back which you will see, it acts like a plane, but can fly into deep space, I have studied for years and this has been a project I have had since I was a boy when I fell off the toilet and banged my head.
NORMAN
That explains it. It’s a giant fish.
JAMES
I like fish, that’s where the idea was born, in my toilet by my fish tank. And you Norman you are to be with me on my first trip into the great unknown.
NORMAN
Are you mental I’m not going in that thing, your insane.
JAMES
Perhaps, or maybe the greatest mind of all time.
NORMAN
I'm sticking with insane.
JAMES
Come with me Norman.
JAMES CLIMBS INTO THE MACHINE. PUTS ON SOME GOGGLES AND LOOKS HAPPILY AT NORMAN
JAMES
Come Norman
NORMAN
(Stands still)
No thanks I will wait here to see what happens.
JAMES
So be it, you are about to witness a new first, something so remarkable it will imprint on your mind and soul forever.
NORMAN
Its not safe James.
JAMES NOT HEARING A WORD NORMAN SAID FIRES UP THE ENGINE, AND DRIVES THE IRON FISH OUT OF THE BARN. NORMAN MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND FOLLOWS THE FISH OUTSIDE OF THE BARN, JAMES THROWS A LOOK TO NORMAN AND SALUTES, NORMAN AGAIN ROLLS HIS EYES BUT SALUTES BACK. JAMES PULLS AWAY FAST IN THE FISH, AND THEN AFTER A MINUTES IT TAKES OFF IN THE AIR AND IT FLIES HIGH, THEN HIGHER AND HIGHER, NORMAN LOOKS AMAZED. THEN ITS OUT OF EYESIGHT. NORMAN CLAPS AND JUMPS AROUND. THEN A FEW SECONDS LATER IT COMES FLYING DOWN, NORMAN LOOKS WORRIED AND SCARED AND SHOUT FOR JAMES, THE IRON FISH FALLING THROUGH THE SKY IN ON FIRE AND IT SMASHES DOWN IN THE FIELD IN A BIG BALL OF FLAMES. NORMAN JUMPS UP HAVING FALLEN DOWN AND STANDS THERE SHOCKED. JAMES IS DEAD IT'S AN ON FIRE IRON FISH.
Iron Fish - Beau
She was a well revered girl
Gorgeous and respected
Until something changed her whole world
Now she feels rejected
When she reflects, her toes curl
Because now her life is hectic
So here's her story, unfurled
Of her accident unexpected...
---------------------------------------
It was autumn, around October of 1985
When suddenly her hopes of being always desired died
Going out for drinks with friends, just another average night
They pissed away the evening, but no one was sober to drive
After they heard "Last orders!", they vacated the bar
Handed the keys to the one deemed most sober while in the car
They drove down a two lane road, but didn't make it far
Clipped a vehicle and turned over; and looking down, they saw the stars
She woke up in the hospital with a collapsed slit
Now guys look at her crotch, and say "I just can't do it."
She's no longer desired, because of the state of her bits
Some smokers have iron lungs, but now she has an Iron Fish.
Gorgeous and respected
Until something changed her whole world
Now she feels rejected
When she reflects, her toes curl
Because now her life is hectic
So here's her story, unfurled
Of her accident unexpected...
---------------------------------------
It was autumn, around October of 1985
When suddenly her hopes of being always desired died
Going out for drinks with friends, just another average night
They pissed away the evening, but no one was sober to drive
After they heard "Last orders!", they vacated the bar
Handed the keys to the one deemed most sober while in the car
They drove down a two lane road, but didn't make it far
Clipped a vehicle and turned over; and looking down, they saw the stars
She woke up in the hospital with a collapsed slit
Now guys look at her crotch, and say "I just can't do it."
She's no longer desired, because of the state of her bits
Some smokers have iron lungs, but now she has an Iron Fish.
Iron Fish - Jow Bates
Ironside aqua, rust speckled cancer, hectic, eclectic, frenetic and triptych.
"Fuck it."
The ship pealed in introspective discord as Yuri's steel-capped work boots met with the iron womb of the cetacean. Dull ringing echoed in on itself as the great adamantine whale moaned back at him. Titian mist exploded into the rain briefly and Yuri fell to the wet, concrete ground. He expelled an acrid cloud of vodka scented fog from his torn lungs and fumbled for a strip of matches. The white noise of rainfall continued over the whales dying chorus and Yuri covered his cigarette from the rain while striking the now sodden matches underneath his coat.
"Fuck it."
The ship pealed in introspective discord as Yuri's steel-capped work boots met with the iron womb of the cetacean. Dull ringing echoed in on itself as the great adamantine whale moaned back at him. Titian mist exploded into the rain briefly and Yuri fell to the wet, concrete ground. He expelled an acrid cloud of vodka scented fog from his torn lungs and fumbled for a strip of matches. The white noise of rainfall continued over the whales dying chorus and Yuri covered his cigarette from the rain while striking the now sodden matches underneath his coat.
"Fuck it" He repeated to himself in a veined effort to convince the world he didn't care. He kicked an empty bottle into the unsettled sea and turned his gaze back to Tetyana, the great metal Orca swayed despondently on the oceanic currents. "She knew." Yuri thought to himself, drawing in on his cheap Ukrainian cigarette. He got up an staggered towards her vast iron belly, reaching out to touch the terracotta cancer that riddled her underside.
"Ah, Tetyana." His head slammed into her chest and Tetyana moaned another dull peal. Rust stained water streamed down Yuri's face and under his collar as cigarette smoke billowed up from between clenched teeth to further cloud his welling eyes.
Yuri slurred in drunken somber to the sea;
Sleep, Tetyana, my beautiful,
Bayushki bayu,
Quietly the moon is looking
Into your cradle.
I will tell you fairy tales
And sing you little songs,
But you must slumber, with your little eyes closed,
Bayushki bayu.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Coaster - Dogmatix
In Hamlet Act 2, scene 2, Shakespeare wrote “Brevity is the soul of wit”, ironically it’s hard to define this quote succinctly, but I guess it boils down to this -
keep things simple.
-
It’s hard for me to envisage my own transiency, and I’ve struggled to comprehend it when people say “Live fast, die young”, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time” or “I hope I die before I get old”. I prefer Morgan Freeman’s line from the end of Shawshank Redemption -
get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.
-
I don’t know about you, but I’m not immortal and so far I’ve failed to keep things simple, I’ve yet to get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’ and I don’t put my glass on a coaster, but I’ve got plenty of time left.
-
coaster.
Eyes open slowly
Early morning footsteps heard
Cup’s on the coaster
Coaster - Fargo
DAY 65
Its easy to say things are simple in life, but as we are aware this is not the case. Im missing you with all my heart, its been a long while since I have seen you now, but it feels like forever, and its still three months until I can touch your smooth skin and run my fingers through your hair.
Today was a long day, a suicide bomber went into a local small town just outside of Basra and killed four of the locals and two American soldiers It was tough, and as I write this I can hear shooting in the far distance, at any minute I could get called away, I‘m not ready for this and I thought I was I just want you in my arms so I could hold you tight. I hope the girls are ok and I can‘t wait to see them again, It‘s hard to believe their going to be one this summer, I miss them and I miss you.
DAY 70
I received your package today my sweet, thanks for all my packets of my favourite chewing gum, and the metal coaster with the photo of you and the girls printed on it, its by my bed so I can look at it all the time and keep in my shirt pocket when I’m out patrolling . I hope my parents have been helping out with everything if not let me know and I will get on their case for you.
The good news is there has been no deaths in the last 5 days everything has been going well, and as I promised I have been in the gym at any given opportunity, my belly boo size has diminished somewhat since I last saw you, so I hope your happy with the result when you see me. When its late at night and im lying here alone I get the slightest smell of your hair and I can feel you next to me, it brings me so much comfort but at the same time make me feel more alone then I have ever been. I hope time goes more quickly over the coming days. I love you Lisa.
DAY 90
I’m so sorry I haven’t written to you for so long, you are never going to believe what happened. But before I begin let me tell you I will be home in two weeks from when you receive this letter. I was out patrolling the last week, and everything was as it normally is, hot, boring and tedious conversation. Then out of nowhere open fire, we couldn’t see where it was coming from, so we ducked and jumped to the nearest shelter which happened to be an empty burnt out car, we crouched down. Terry, next to me was peered out to the left of the car and the shooting continued, I got to tell you babe I have never been so scared. I couldn’t see where our other men were so it was me and Terry sitting next to the burnt car, and we could hear gun shot hitting the metal of the car, then the shooting stopped suddenly, so I slowly to the left of the car peered my head out to see where it was coming from then a shot went straight past my ear with a buzzing whisper, I got my head back behind the car quickly. Terry then noticed to his right in an empty building were the other members of our squad, so without any hesitation he ran out into open fire and began shooting in the direction of the gunfire, and made it to building. They were all gesticulating violently for me to move quickly, they did the super army sign language that you love so much to tell me there were only two of them in the high building to the north of the car, I waited for only a minute but it seemed an ice age. Without telling me my legs jumped up and before my brain realised I was shooting in the high building then out of nowhere darkness…..
I woke just two days ago with a head bandage and also one around my chest area. Before I could even fathom what the fuck was going on Terry was sitting next to me, and told me I had just gotten shot in the head thankfully it only skimmed me and put me into a temporary coma. Before you start worrying I’m fine it was only enough to knock me out for a few days but the miracle is this, I got shot straight in the chest near my heart, but what saved me was the coaster of you and the girls, the bullet only did enough to bruise me, and my darling it earnt me an early ticket home, I can't wait I love you so much you saved my life in so many ways. See you soon. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Its easy to say things are simple in life, but as we are aware this is not the case. Im missing you with all my heart, its been a long while since I have seen you now, but it feels like forever, and its still three months until I can touch your smooth skin and run my fingers through your hair.
Today was a long day, a suicide bomber went into a local small town just outside of Basra and killed four of the locals and two American soldiers It was tough, and as I write this I can hear shooting in the far distance, at any minute I could get called away, I‘m not ready for this and I thought I was I just want you in my arms so I could hold you tight. I hope the girls are ok and I can‘t wait to see them again, It‘s hard to believe their going to be one this summer, I miss them and I miss you.
DAY 70
I received your package today my sweet, thanks for all my packets of my favourite chewing gum, and the metal coaster with the photo of you and the girls printed on it, its by my bed so I can look at it all the time and keep in my shirt pocket when I’m out patrolling . I hope my parents have been helping out with everything if not let me know and I will get on their case for you.
The good news is there has been no deaths in the last 5 days everything has been going well, and as I promised I have been in the gym at any given opportunity, my belly boo size has diminished somewhat since I last saw you, so I hope your happy with the result when you see me. When its late at night and im lying here alone I get the slightest smell of your hair and I can feel you next to me, it brings me so much comfort but at the same time make me feel more alone then I have ever been. I hope time goes more quickly over the coming days. I love you Lisa.
DAY 90
I’m so sorry I haven’t written to you for so long, you are never going to believe what happened. But before I begin let me tell you I will be home in two weeks from when you receive this letter. I was out patrolling the last week, and everything was as it normally is, hot, boring and tedious conversation. Then out of nowhere open fire, we couldn’t see where it was coming from, so we ducked and jumped to the nearest shelter which happened to be an empty burnt out car, we crouched down. Terry, next to me was peered out to the left of the car and the shooting continued, I got to tell you babe I have never been so scared. I couldn’t see where our other men were so it was me and Terry sitting next to the burnt car, and we could hear gun shot hitting the metal of the car, then the shooting stopped suddenly, so I slowly to the left of the car peered my head out to see where it was coming from then a shot went straight past my ear with a buzzing whisper, I got my head back behind the car quickly. Terry then noticed to his right in an empty building were the other members of our squad, so without any hesitation he ran out into open fire and began shooting in the direction of the gunfire, and made it to building. They were all gesticulating violently for me to move quickly, they did the super army sign language that you love so much to tell me there were only two of them in the high building to the north of the car, I waited for only a minute but it seemed an ice age. Without telling me my legs jumped up and before my brain realised I was shooting in the high building then out of nowhere darkness…..
I woke just two days ago with a head bandage and also one around my chest area. Before I could even fathom what the fuck was going on Terry was sitting next to me, and told me I had just gotten shot in the head thankfully it only skimmed me and put me into a temporary coma. Before you start worrying I’m fine it was only enough to knock me out for a few days but the miracle is this, I got shot straight in the chest near my heart, but what saved me was the coaster of you and the girls, the bullet only did enough to bruise me, and my darling it earnt me an early ticket home, I can't wait I love you so much you saved my life in so many ways. See you soon. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Coaster - D'oh
The coaster absorbed most of the condensation running from the pint of beer that he’d been nursing for over an hour. He couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it. Sitting alone at an empty bar, it felt a little selfish of him to be celebrating with a drink.
“But surely the fact that I’m still here is due for celebration itself…surely.” He tried to convince himself. That didn’t lighten his mood at all.
He took another sip of his beer, “uuurghh” he muttered. Nothing worst than lukewarm beer. Instead of pouring it out like he’d usually do, he found himself considering the implications of the situation.
“The beer here won’t last, better not waste it” he thought to himself and downed the rest of the drink even though his enjoyment of the beverage had long expired. He’d never planned anything ahead before. He’d always had his girlfriend to do that for him, and before her, his mum.
The thought of his loved ones only made him more sick, which made him want another drink. But the thought of drinking alone made him depressed. It was a no win situation. All he could think about now were the last words he ever said to them and if it was enough. Enough for them to know how much he loved them.
He poured himself another drink and placed it on the already saturated coaster.
“But surely the fact that I’m still here is due for celebration itself…surely.” He tried to convince himself. That didn’t lighten his mood at all.
He took another sip of his beer, “uuurghh” he muttered. Nothing worst than lukewarm beer. Instead of pouring it out like he’d usually do, he found himself considering the implications of the situation.
“The beer here won’t last, better not waste it” he thought to himself and downed the rest of the drink even though his enjoyment of the beverage had long expired. He’d never planned anything ahead before. He’d always had his girlfriend to do that for him, and before her, his mum.
The thought of his loved ones only made him more sick, which made him want another drink. But the thought of drinking alone made him depressed. It was a no win situation. All he could think about now were the last words he ever said to them and if it was enough. Enough for them to know how much he loved them.
He poured himself another drink and placed it on the already saturated coaster.
Coaster - Philip Charles
His steady grasp onto what was once his seemed to fade along with the whisper of belonging, yet still he continued to recite the words, this time under muffled breath as to avoid arousing further suspicion from conspecifics. The words didn’t matter anymore. This was obvious, particularly by the cold, fixated stare from beyond the broken, worn spectacles in which light was invading from a window in a nearby corner. Anticipation within retreated from whence it came revealing a hollow core of disbelief. “It had to be now” he said. “It just had to be now”. His head sunk deep into his shoulders as his feet dragged longingly across the dusty floor. He re-took his seat and leaned gently over a glass of water. He didn’t put it there. Perplexed, he ignored it for a moment until without thought he clasped it in his hands and raised it high, thrusting it towards the light. As he did so the coaster upon which it sat came too, revealing a dark stain on the table on which it once rested. “It’s worked” he exalted, oblivious to the gentlemen sitting across from him.
Coaster - Michelle Goodwin
Slurrrp... Bang!... the mug hits the table again that damn goood green hippy tea splashes over the edge..straight on to the cloth with toast crumbs too... if only i used a tray and a coaster, would my life be any easier?! Siiigh as i sit with my pen and pad i look onto the moors which this house overlooks, life really is a roller coaster of action.. and no action sometimes it seems. It takes any fool to make life difficult.. it takes a genius to make it simple..thats what my Nan used to say...
Coaster - Jow Bates
Down icy glass cliffs
Tread Poseidon's wayward souls
Rest on dampened coast
"Is there any way you could please not rip up my beermats?" Asked James, politely.
"Ah shit." Replied Adam, sweeping the torn debris into a manageable pile of concentrated mess.
"I don't really see the point of beermats to be honest mate." - He continued in a less than apologetic manner.
"Well the basic premiss of them is that you don't fuck up my tables."
"Ah, lesson learned."
Adam turned to the table behind him and addressed the young couple, both sporting tight jeans and expensive haircuts.
"Excuse me, can I have your beermats?" He enquired.
There was no response, but as drinks lay bathing in pooled condensation while coasters had been swept to one side in a display of abject disregard, Adam helped himself to both.
"You shouldn't leave your drinks like that." He added.
"Fucks up the table."
James conceded a look of hopelessness before attending to his drink, now perched on cardboard plinth.
"I've only got about 10 more minutes mate." He ascribed to Adam, who was wiping a mixture of watery residue and rolling tobacco from the table.
"No worries mate."
"I'mma roll a cigarette before I get back to work though."
James then effected towards a packet of Golden Virginia that was half stuck to the once pluvious table. Adam unravelled his discarded jacket to retrieve a worn packet of Drum in union with James.
"You got any Rizla's mate?"
"Aye." Replied James.
The papers in question lay face down on the table and as James unstuck the packet, sodden Rizla remained clinging to aqueous tabletop in mute defiance, a concertina of dismayed skins exploded in outward connection between the two.
"Ah fuckbandits."
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Epoch - D'oh
The creature rose up before us to about 10 times the size of any man. Covered in black oily slime and reeking or raw sewage, he let out a loud roar. He was of a viscous consistency, and was able to take any form.
Fame and gold was promised to those that came out victorious, but that seemed little reward when death was the only other option.
FIGHT!
The word flashed up on screen.
This was the moment that would define us all.
The creature lept towards at a group of civilians, he was too quick for them to draw their weapons and the creature swallowed them up in a sea of sludge. Screams erupted as people begun to flee. The young boy next to me fired his cross bow at it. It was a direct hit, and on impact, the creature reduced to nothing more than a puddle on the ground. A smirk fell across the young boys face and looks of bewilderment on others as they began to consider that the young boy had defeated the monster that had been terrorising this town for years. People slowly but surely, begun to approach what was left of the creature on the ground.
The ground began to shake violently. The black puddle sitting on the coloured pavement erupted into a volcanic mass. Then everything went black.
GAME OVER. INSERT COINS TO PLAY AGAIN
Epoch - Dogmatix
She’d figured that the apocalypse would have been more literal, that there would be a definable moment where humanity ceased, and but for the afterlife, the doomsayers would have no avenue to the phrase ‘I told you so’.
Nuclear war, GM crops, alien invasion, financial ruin, divine intervention, take your pick., there had been enough reasons presented to people from the liberal media, through to paranoid survivalist forums on the Internet to fear the end times coming, but who had predicted this?
The world almost seemed louder now, as if without humanities efforts the earth out of necessity intervened to fill in the silence. She was grateful.
These were end times.
Luke 21:28 “Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all things take place”
Was this her generation? She had traded for the bible, not because she was religious, but
because of the pleading look in the woman's eyes. Perhaps it meant something? Perhaps.
because of the pleading look in the woman's eyes. Perhaps it meant something? Perhaps.
Coughing she smiled, being alone she had almost forgotten she possessed the power to make noise. Humming a tune she vaguely remembered, she pondered - How long until I forget this melody, are there any left who remember it?
Time moves more slowly in End Times.
Epoch - Jow Bates
"This is taking ages." Thought Ollie, staring somewhat blankly into the sky. It was a relatively cool night and the darkened canvas which blanketed his studio was absolutely littered with stars, which was nice. It looked like an ephemeral Pollock masterpiece made from white neon.
Ollie thought about glow-sticks that had been chewed through by over-enthused and gurning ravers, the luminescent fluid bursting over their extended chins.
"Is there anyway we can hurry this up?" Asked Ollie to no one in particular and he plucked another spent word from the ether and placed it carefully into his artistically crafted L-plate Rizla. The words arranged themselves pleasingly on the tobacco, causing Ollie to smile, he then turned sharply in an effort to reply to a question that hadn't been asked, he thought he'd heard someone.
There was a faint humming across a rhythmic beat, like the ground was pulsing some kind of alluring bass and Ollie was reminded of the rave he'd been to earlier that night, but that was about the extent of his memory. His left hand fell to the soft ground and he caressed the dew-dampened grass he was sitting on. He pressed into the earth and felt it press warmly back into him, then his attention turned back to the sky; a living tapestry of history. A constant poem, being performed by the audience it encompassed, the sky was always a reliable source of awe.
"Awe." Ollie muttered, that was a good one. He plucked "Awe" from the air, inches away from his mouth and laid it down meticulously, next to the others. He enjoyed the prospect of lighting this up, another gathering of some of the most beautiful words context could muster, fresh Golden Virginia and Original Slims making up the frame, he felt like an architect.
"Probably just one more now." He thought to himself, a tad distastefully as none of those words would do, certainly not at this stage, good chefs always pride themselves on their deserts as even the most seasoned food critic will walk away from a meal remembering most clearly that which the ate last.
He froze for a moment, trying to remember why he was sitting here, it seemed unfathomably important a while ago and as realisation set in, sobriety kicked wonder from his mind. He must have been sat there for aeons he thought, looking down at his lap, now scattered with torn paper and spilled tobacco. His tongue found and retrieved the small piece of sodden papery card that had once held the face of Super Mario and he spat the spent tab from his being. Ollie felt a little used up at the nights recourse and he looked halfheartedly for his phone, not expecting to find it. He didn't and instead brushed the mess of smoking paraphernalia from his jeans and leaned forward to hug his knees. Not entirely sure what he was attempting to roll as it was clear he didn't have anything other than rolling tobacco, he smiled. He sat there for a while longer, breathing in the moment that elapsed between triptych sobering that was his mind clearing, not so much a comedown as a unannounced detox, it was nice. Time paused and he drank in the transient cleansing epoch that was his existence.
"Epoch." He said to himself, standing up.
"That's a good word."
Ollie thought about glow-sticks that had been chewed through by over-enthused and gurning ravers, the luminescent fluid bursting over their extended chins.
"Is there anyway we can hurry this up?" Asked Ollie to no one in particular and he plucked another spent word from the ether and placed it carefully into his artistically crafted L-plate Rizla. The words arranged themselves pleasingly on the tobacco, causing Ollie to smile, he then turned sharply in an effort to reply to a question that hadn't been asked, he thought he'd heard someone.
There was a faint humming across a rhythmic beat, like the ground was pulsing some kind of alluring bass and Ollie was reminded of the rave he'd been to earlier that night, but that was about the extent of his memory. His left hand fell to the soft ground and he caressed the dew-dampened grass he was sitting on. He pressed into the earth and felt it press warmly back into him, then his attention turned back to the sky; a living tapestry of history. A constant poem, being performed by the audience it encompassed, the sky was always a reliable source of awe.
"Awe." Ollie muttered, that was a good one. He plucked "Awe" from the air, inches away from his mouth and laid it down meticulously, next to the others. He enjoyed the prospect of lighting this up, another gathering of some of the most beautiful words context could muster, fresh Golden Virginia and Original Slims making up the frame, he felt like an architect.
"Probably just one more now." He thought to himself, a tad distastefully as none of those words would do, certainly not at this stage, good chefs always pride themselves on their deserts as even the most seasoned food critic will walk away from a meal remembering most clearly that which the ate last.
He froze for a moment, trying to remember why he was sitting here, it seemed unfathomably important a while ago and as realisation set in, sobriety kicked wonder from his mind. He must have been sat there for aeons he thought, looking down at his lap, now scattered with torn paper and spilled tobacco. His tongue found and retrieved the small piece of sodden papery card that had once held the face of Super Mario and he spat the spent tab from his being. Ollie felt a little used up at the nights recourse and he looked halfheartedly for his phone, not expecting to find it. He didn't and instead brushed the mess of smoking paraphernalia from his jeans and leaned forward to hug his knees. Not entirely sure what he was attempting to roll as it was clear he didn't have anything other than rolling tobacco, he smiled. He sat there for a while longer, breathing in the moment that elapsed between triptych sobering that was his mind clearing, not so much a comedown as a unannounced detox, it was nice. Time paused and he drank in the transient cleansing epoch that was his existence.
"Epoch." He said to himself, standing up.
"That's a good word."
Epoch - Darly Bites
Miserable bastards.
Death, ugliness, crucifixion, blood and guts.
They all look like fucking bank managers.
Apart from that one. Absolutely shitfaced, riding his bike, one hand steering, badly. The other hand clutching a half empty bottle.
JP and his JD? Or was it vodka? Paint splattered, haphazard, vomit inducing mess.
What a load of bollocks.
Give the man an exhibition.
Death, ugliness, crucifixion, blood and guts.
They all look like fucking bank managers.
Apart from that one. Absolutely shitfaced, riding his bike, one hand steering, badly. The other hand clutching a half empty bottle.
JP and his JD? Or was it vodka? Paint splattered, haphazard, vomit inducing mess.
What a load of bollocks.
Give the man an exhibition.
Epoch - Beau
Rubbing his eyes while averting them from the cheap fluorescent lights that clung to the ceiling, Francis slowly rolled over on his bed, only to have his instincts stop him at the last second as he realised he was on the top level of a bunk-bed. He reached blindly for the glasses he had placed on his locker adjacent, and sighed heavily as he remembered his current lot in life. His ocular sense had been restored not 2 seconds when his auditory sense was bombarded with the resonance of the clanging metal door to his right. "Dorm 5, prepare for chow!", shouted an fat and inept female guard before she slammed the door shut and walked away. "Man, stop with that bangin' door shit. We fucking know when it's time to eat, you fat bitch.", said an inmate from the back while he pulled a blanket over his head. Of course he was 20 seconds too late for the officer to hear his words, and of course him complaining didn't make the dorm any quieter, but the inmates all knew how good it felt to cuss at the prison employees.
Francis collected all the sanity he could muster, put on his shoes, and jumped off the bunk, making sure to land quietly so as not to suddenly wake up his bunkmate. It wasn't that Francis had any respect for him, but rather he was slightly scared of pissing anyone off. He knew damn well that at any moment, any seemingly nice person could snap in a place like this; he'd seen it before. Rolling a cigarette, he walked to the back of the dorm where the toilets and sink were, lit his cigarette, and began to piss in one of the urinals. Carelessly ashing his cigarette into the toilet while still peeing, specks of red ash were shot straight at his junk, causing Francis to squeal. "Fuck, that hurts! SHIT!", he cried. He brushed it off and mustered up even more collectedness; he'd need it. "12 fucking months for drunk in public...", he mumbled to himself. "Only in America.".
He had already served 8 months on his misdemeanor charge, and had figured long ago the system would have let him out at the halfway point of it all. They hadn't. Francis had already given up on the prospect of early release. He was living with violent criminals who, if things had gone their way, would have actually killed the individual they intended to off. He was living with non-violent criminals as well, who had simply gotten caught with drugs and were now serving 7-20 year sentences. But Francis was still living there. His crime? He liked to drink. The reason for being arrested, he knew, was because the American Prison System was a money racket.
"I'm done with this country.", Francis said aloud as he walked to the door for breakfast time. "I'm done with it.".
Then, before breakfast, someone asked him to play Scrabble, and Francis scored 46 points using the word "epoch". TRIPLE WORD, BITCH!
Francis collected all the sanity he could muster, put on his shoes, and jumped off the bunk, making sure to land quietly so as not to suddenly wake up his bunkmate. It wasn't that Francis had any respect for him, but rather he was slightly scared of pissing anyone off. He knew damn well that at any moment, any seemingly nice person could snap in a place like this; he'd seen it before. Rolling a cigarette, he walked to the back of the dorm where the toilets and sink were, lit his cigarette, and began to piss in one of the urinals. Carelessly ashing his cigarette into the toilet while still peeing, specks of red ash were shot straight at his junk, causing Francis to squeal. "Fuck, that hurts! SHIT!", he cried. He brushed it off and mustered up even more collectedness; he'd need it. "12 fucking months for drunk in public...", he mumbled to himself. "Only in America.".
He had already served 8 months on his misdemeanor charge, and had figured long ago the system would have let him out at the halfway point of it all. They hadn't. Francis had already given up on the prospect of early release. He was living with violent criminals who, if things had gone their way, would have actually killed the individual they intended to off. He was living with non-violent criminals as well, who had simply gotten caught with drugs and were now serving 7-20 year sentences. But Francis was still living there. His crime? He liked to drink. The reason for being arrested, he knew, was because the American Prison System was a money racket.
"I'm done with this country.", Francis said aloud as he walked to the door for breakfast time. "I'm done with it.".
Then, before breakfast, someone asked him to play Scrabble, and Francis scored 46 points using the word "epoch". TRIPLE WORD, BITCH!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Lego Horses - D'oh
The words everyone had anticipated blipped up on screen
“TOMORROW WE FIGHT”
There it was. The fight that we had all foresaw. No one knew what they’d be up against and it could well be the end for most of us. But still, we remained optimistic and hoped for a resolve of some sort.
Tomorrow seemed to take a while to get to. Perhaps because we all didn’t get much rest, which is foolish as you’d think that the best thing for them would be to rest up before the big fight. Most of them had stayed up the night spreading fear and noxious rumours of the one they were up against.
“I hear that he can kill you just by looking at you”
“it’s a death trap”
“He has poison tentacles and if he touches you, than you’re done for!”
“I heard that he has fangs and can turn you into a zombie by biting you”
“We’ll never make it out alive”
It would seem that the fight was futile.
The fight was at Lego lane, a name given to it for its colourful Lego-like pavement. I found a group of them at the foot of a statue. The statue was of a horse, feet flung up in the air like it was about to stomp onto you. Mixie, a young girl I’d become acquainted to was sitting right up under the giant hoofs. She seemed frightened, even though she had come dressed in her best armour. I greeted her and sat next to her awaiting our next command.
I had noticed that most people hadn’t shown up. For the few who did, they seemed weak and smaller than usual, even though most of them were dressed in their best armour, welding their deadliest weapons.
After waiting for what seemed like hours a young boy came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. He was far too young to fight but he had a cross bow flung over his shoulder.
“I-i-it’s time” he stammered
To be continued…
Lego Horses - Dogmatix
I hadn’t known him long. I don’t truly think I could say I knew him at all, but I enjoyed his company none the less.
You might think it an odd relationship, that two people could meet once a fortnight, spend a few hours sat side by side in comfortable silence, but we did.
I don’t know when it began precisely, it didn’t seem of great note when it started, but I know it was when I was still fairly new to the city, and the weather was fine, Sarah hadn’t bought me my wool coat yet, so I’d guess at around 18 months ago.
Like I said, I was new to the city. I’d asked for a transfer when I met Sarah, getting the Visa was no trouble and they were happy for me to make the move across the pond, and for the first time in a while, I think I was happy too.
Sarah would meet me for lunch most days, but not Tuesdays. Tuesdays Sarah worked in the deli and I had the hour to myself. At first I’d pick something up from the sandwich lady’s cart and eat it at my desk, but... I mean, there’s only so many weeks you can eat Ham and Mustard on white without growing bored, I didn’t want to be the cliché American, but I was a feeling a little home sick and I was dying for a Big Mac, so I took my first solo venture into the city. 5 minutes and £4 later, I was sitting on a bench outside Monument trying to juggle a copy of Private Eye I’d borrowed from a colleagues desk and a Coke, whilst my phone bleeped The Star Spangled Banner from my jacket pocket. I’d set the ring tone a few weeks earlier to bug Sarah’s older brother who’d mocked me for days about which side of the road to drive on and the correct spelling of colo(u)r, but It’d been bugging Sarah and I allot recently and this call was the final straw, and as unpatriotic as this may sound, The Star Spangled Banner had to go. The call was from Sarah, she’d found a couple of minutes to call me & check how I was doing, I got half way through answering when the Coke I was balancing between my knees began to slip spilling on my right foot, soaking my shoe and sock, I swore and of course Sarah thought I was swearing at her, she sounded upset before making an excuse and ending the call. My first solo trip in the city wasn’t going quite to plan. I heard a chuckle from the next bench, the old fellow sitting there seemed to find the situation I was in a little amusing, but having salvaged a little of my coke I was determined to finish what was left of my lunch. I couldn’t ignore the old bastard though, every time I looked up from my magazine, I could see him, looking at me, smiling, smiling, laughing, then I was laughing, the two of us roaring with laughter. Eventually he handed me a small towel from a leather satchel he’d had propped up by his feet, then still laughing and having not said a word disappeared around a corner.
Lego Horses - Fargo
INT: TWO TODDLERS SITTING IN A PLAY PEN, THEY BOTH HAVE A BOX OF LEGO EACH. TODDLER NUMBER ONE IS CALLED JIMMY THE OTHER IS THOMAS, THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR A FEW MINUTES. IT’S A BRIGHT DAY OUTSIDE, WITH THE SUN BEAMING DOWN INTO THE LIVING ROOM IN WHICH THEY SIT, STILL GLARING AT EACH OTHER WITH GREAT INTENSITY, THEN WITH NO HESITATION THEY EMPTY THEIR LEGO BOXES, THEY THEN BOTH LOOK AT EACH OTHER A WRY SMIRK APPEARS ON BOTH THEIR FACES. AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE, WITHOUT ANY WARNING THEY BOTH BUILD THEIR LEGO HORSES.
THOMAS
Interesting, (contemplating the situation) very interesting. Jimmy we both have appeared to have created the horse.
JIMMY
It is indeed the case Thomas, (still smirking much like Simon Cowell does as he belittles the general public's sheer stupidity) what do u suggest?
THOMAS
I say we take this outside.
JIMMY
Are u thinking of a race of some kind?
THOMAS
You read my mind Thomas, I think a race would settle this?
JIMMY
(Looking confused)
Settle what?
THOMAS
(Confused also)
Erm……who had the better Lego, no, who has the better horse thingy thing.
JIMMY
Sounds good, but do you care to make this interesting?
THOMAS
Sounds intriguing, let me hear this proposition.
JIMMY
Who ever wins, gets to keep, yes keep as in forever the Kermit the Frog.
THEN THE KERMIT THE FROG STUFFED TOY COMES INTO SHOT, THEN THE SHOT GOES FROM THOMAS TO JIMMY THEN THOMAS TO JIMMY AGAIN BOTH LOOKING AS IF THE WHOLE WORLD HANGS IN THE BALANCE THEN THEY RELAX LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN WHICH TIME THEIR EYES HALF SHUT AS IF THEY REALLY MEAN IT.
THOMAS
Ok, it’s a deal.
THEY SPIT IN THEIR OWN HANDS THEN SHAKE.
THEY ESCAPE FROM THE PLAY PEN, AND OUTSIDE INTO WHAT STARTS OFF AS A USUAL SUBBURBAN GARDEN INTO THE WILD WEST WITH NOTHING BUT SANDY DESERTS AND CACTUS TREES, AND MOUNTAINS IN THE DISTANCE. THOMAS AND JIMMY ARE DRESSED LIKE COWBOYS WITH STETSONS ON THEIR HEADS AND PLASITC GUNS IN THEIR HOLSTERS WITH THE ORANGE TIPS. BUT THE LEGO HORSES REAMAIN EXACTLY HOW THEY ARE JIMMY CREATES A STARTING LINE WITH HIS FOREFINGER. HE LOOKS AT THOMAS FOR ACCEPTANCE. THOMAS NODD’S THAT THIS IS ACCEPTABLE TO HIM. BY THE SIDE OF THE START-LINE IS THE KERMIT THE FROG STUFFED TOY ON PLINTH WAITING FOR THEIR NEW OWNER.
JIMMY
So how many laps are u thinking?
THOMAS
(Sweating from his brow with the weight of the world on his shoulders)
Four laps
JIMMY
(Also beginning to perspire)
Four laps is a lot, but me and my horse can make it, we are gonna open a can of whoop ass on u bitch.
THOMAS
Oh you are are you, well myself and my horsey ain’t know each other long, but in the time we have, we have built up this bond, and this telepathic energy, we have got what it takes, (pulls out a match and puts it in his mouth and proceeds to chew) Kermit is ours and ours to take.
JIMMY
(Looking anxious pulls out his dummy from the top pocket of his shirt)
Enough of this small talk let the action commence.
THEN THE ACTION MAN APPEARS WITH A GUN READY TO SHOOT FOR THE START OF THE RACE. THOMAS AND JIMMY GET INTO THEIR POSITIONS. ACTION MAN LOOKS AT THEM BOTH, THEY BOTH NOD, AND THEN FIRED HIS GUN.
THEY BOTH SHOOT OFF AT A FAST PACE, THEY ARE LEVEL MOST OF THE FIRST LAP, THOMAS TAKES OVER HALFWAY THROUGH THE SECOND LAP AND INTO THE THIRD, THEN JIMMY WHIPS HIS LEGO HORSE COUNTLESS TIMES AND BEFORE THE THIRD LAP FINISHES OVERTAKES JIMMY.
JIMMY ALMOST BREATHLESS LOOKS LIKE HE CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE, THOMAS NOTICES THIS SIGN OF WEAKNESS AND WITH SOME HARSH THUDDING ON HIS LEGO HORSE OVERTAKES JIMMY AT THE MOST CRUCIAL MOMENT IN THE FOURTH LAP AND GALLOPS OVER THE FINISH LINE. THERE ARE SOUND OF APPLAUSE WUITE WHERE THERE COMING FROM IS UNKNOWN TO THIS DAY.
THOMAS LOOK REALLY HAPPY WITH HIMSELF PATS HIS LEGO HORSE. JIMMY PULLS UP BESIDE HIM LOOKING MORE THEN UPSET.
JIMMY
(Through gritted teeth)
Well played my friend it was a tough battle out there.
THOMAS
(Looking overly chuffed)
Indeed it was, I have always heard that’s its best to be dignified in situations like this but fuck it.
THOMAS RAISES HIS MIDDLE FINGER, THEN JIMMY CRIES. BARBIE THEN APPEARS AS IF FROM NOWHERE AND PRESENTS THOMAS WITH KERMIT THE FROG. MORE APPLAUSE. THEN A VERY BAD SMELL ARISES WHICH MAKES BARBIE RUN OFF CRYING ASKING FOR KEN, AND ACTION MAN TAKE HIS OWN LIFE WITH A SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN. AFTER THE EXPLOSION OF ACTIONS HEAD, JIMMY NOTICES THE CULPRIT OF THE SMELL, ITS COMING FROM THOMAS’ ANUS. LAUGHING WITH GREAT PLEASURE AND SMUGNESS HE SHOUTS:
JIMMY
You shat yourself you fat ass.
JIMMY IS IN A FIT OF LAUGHTER WHILE THOMAS IS CRYING AT AN VERY HIGH VOLUME. THEN THE WILD WEST SCENE DISSOLVES AND THOMAS MUM APPEARS IN THE SUBURBAN GARDEN PICKING THOMAS UP.
THOMAS MUM
Come on lets change this dirty botty.
THOMAS CRYING AND LOOK BASHFUL DROPS KERMIT THE FROG AND JIMMY TOTS OVER STILL ON HIS LEGO HORSE LOOKING PLEASED WITH HIMSELF PICKS KERMIT UP AND RAISES HIM HIGH IN THE AIR AND TROTS OFF ON HIS LEGO HORSE BACK IN THE WILD WEST SUNSET PICKING UP BARBIE ALONG THE WAY.
THOMAS
Interesting, (contemplating the situation) very interesting. Jimmy we both have appeared to have created the horse.
JIMMY
It is indeed the case Thomas, (still smirking much like Simon Cowell does as he belittles the general public's sheer stupidity) what do u suggest?
THOMAS
I say we take this outside.
JIMMY
Are u thinking of a race of some kind?
THOMAS
You read my mind Thomas, I think a race would settle this?
JIMMY
(Looking confused)
Settle what?
THOMAS
(Confused also)
Erm……who had the better Lego, no, who has the better horse thingy thing.
JIMMY
Sounds good, but do you care to make this interesting?
THOMAS
Sounds intriguing, let me hear this proposition.
JIMMY
Who ever wins, gets to keep, yes keep as in forever the Kermit the Frog.
THEN THE KERMIT THE FROG STUFFED TOY COMES INTO SHOT, THEN THE SHOT GOES FROM THOMAS TO JIMMY THEN THOMAS TO JIMMY AGAIN BOTH LOOKING AS IF THE WHOLE WORLD HANGS IN THE BALANCE THEN THEY RELAX LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN WHICH TIME THEIR EYES HALF SHUT AS IF THEY REALLY MEAN IT.
THOMAS
Ok, it’s a deal.
THEY SPIT IN THEIR OWN HANDS THEN SHAKE.
THEY ESCAPE FROM THE PLAY PEN, AND OUTSIDE INTO WHAT STARTS OFF AS A USUAL SUBBURBAN GARDEN INTO THE WILD WEST WITH NOTHING BUT SANDY DESERTS AND CACTUS TREES, AND MOUNTAINS IN THE DISTANCE. THOMAS AND JIMMY ARE DRESSED LIKE COWBOYS WITH STETSONS ON THEIR HEADS AND PLASITC GUNS IN THEIR HOLSTERS WITH THE ORANGE TIPS. BUT THE LEGO HORSES REAMAIN EXACTLY HOW THEY ARE JIMMY CREATES A STARTING LINE WITH HIS FOREFINGER. HE LOOKS AT THOMAS FOR ACCEPTANCE. THOMAS NODD’S THAT THIS IS ACCEPTABLE TO HIM. BY THE SIDE OF THE START-LINE IS THE KERMIT THE FROG STUFFED TOY ON PLINTH WAITING FOR THEIR NEW OWNER.
JIMMY
So how many laps are u thinking?
THOMAS
(Sweating from his brow with the weight of the world on his shoulders)
Four laps
JIMMY
(Also beginning to perspire)
Four laps is a lot, but me and my horse can make it, we are gonna open a can of whoop ass on u bitch.
THOMAS
Oh you are are you, well myself and my horsey ain’t know each other long, but in the time we have, we have built up this bond, and this telepathic energy, we have got what it takes, (pulls out a match and puts it in his mouth and proceeds to chew) Kermit is ours and ours to take.
JIMMY
(Looking anxious pulls out his dummy from the top pocket of his shirt)
Enough of this small talk let the action commence.
THEN THE ACTION MAN APPEARS WITH A GUN READY TO SHOOT FOR THE START OF THE RACE. THOMAS AND JIMMY GET INTO THEIR POSITIONS. ACTION MAN LOOKS AT THEM BOTH, THEY BOTH NOD, AND THEN FIRED HIS GUN.
THEY BOTH SHOOT OFF AT A FAST PACE, THEY ARE LEVEL MOST OF THE FIRST LAP, THOMAS TAKES OVER HALFWAY THROUGH THE SECOND LAP AND INTO THE THIRD, THEN JIMMY WHIPS HIS LEGO HORSE COUNTLESS TIMES AND BEFORE THE THIRD LAP FINISHES OVERTAKES JIMMY.
JIMMY ALMOST BREATHLESS LOOKS LIKE HE CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE, THOMAS NOTICES THIS SIGN OF WEAKNESS AND WITH SOME HARSH THUDDING ON HIS LEGO HORSE OVERTAKES JIMMY AT THE MOST CRUCIAL MOMENT IN THE FOURTH LAP AND GALLOPS OVER THE FINISH LINE. THERE ARE SOUND OF APPLAUSE WUITE WHERE THERE COMING FROM IS UNKNOWN TO THIS DAY.
THOMAS LOOK REALLY HAPPY WITH HIMSELF PATS HIS LEGO HORSE. JIMMY PULLS UP BESIDE HIM LOOKING MORE THEN UPSET.
JIMMY
(Through gritted teeth)
Well played my friend it was a tough battle out there.
THOMAS
(Looking overly chuffed)
Indeed it was, I have always heard that’s its best to be dignified in situations like this but fuck it.
THOMAS RAISES HIS MIDDLE FINGER, THEN JIMMY CRIES. BARBIE THEN APPEARS AS IF FROM NOWHERE AND PRESENTS THOMAS WITH KERMIT THE FROG. MORE APPLAUSE. THEN A VERY BAD SMELL ARISES WHICH MAKES BARBIE RUN OFF CRYING ASKING FOR KEN, AND ACTION MAN TAKE HIS OWN LIFE WITH A SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN. AFTER THE EXPLOSION OF ACTIONS HEAD, JIMMY NOTICES THE CULPRIT OF THE SMELL, ITS COMING FROM THOMAS’ ANUS. LAUGHING WITH GREAT PLEASURE AND SMUGNESS HE SHOUTS:
JIMMY
You shat yourself you fat ass.
JIMMY IS IN A FIT OF LAUGHTER WHILE THOMAS IS CRYING AT AN VERY HIGH VOLUME. THEN THE WILD WEST SCENE DISSOLVES AND THOMAS MUM APPEARS IN THE SUBURBAN GARDEN PICKING THOMAS UP.
THOMAS MUM
Come on lets change this dirty botty.
THOMAS CRYING AND LOOK BASHFUL DROPS KERMIT THE FROG AND JIMMY TOTS OVER STILL ON HIS LEGO HORSE LOOKING PLEASED WITH HIMSELF PICKS KERMIT UP AND RAISES HIM HIGH IN THE AIR AND TROTS OFF ON HIS LEGO HORSE BACK IN THE WILD WEST SUNSET PICKING UP BARBIE ALONG THE WAY.
Lego Horses - Phillip Charles
I remember
I remember the days. The good old days. Those days when I could get a return ticket on the bus. When a smile was real. When the sun shine erupted in the Summer and retreated on those crisp, frosty Winter morns. Ice poles. When cider was made with apples. When a Happy Meal made me happy, when children were content to sit and play with lego horses, when we had respect for politicians and our ruler was on the front line. I remember when 10p crisps cost 10p. I remember football as a game, not a business, and when Ipswich Town were good. I remember waiting for Santa. I remember randomly knocking for people hoping they were in. I remember 3.5. I remember you.
I remember the days. The good old days. Those days when I could get a return ticket on the bus. When a smile was real. When the sun shine erupted in the Summer and retreated on those crisp, frosty Winter morns. Ice poles. When cider was made with apples. When a Happy Meal made me happy, when children were content to sit and play with lego horses, when we had respect for politicians and our ruler was on the front line. I remember when 10p crisps cost 10p. I remember football as a game, not a business, and when Ipswich Town were good. I remember waiting for Santa. I remember randomly knocking for people hoping they were in. I remember 3.5. I remember you.
Lego Horses - Jow Bates
Each movement smacked of frustration and awkwardness. As his bulky frame clicked across the studded paddock he drew cold glares from passers by. His reply was met of distaste as his blank plastic stare was to be considered a unwelcoming gesture by the new family he had already come to distrust. His stiff synthetic mane was brushed enthusiastically by the young girl and he stifled the desire to move, standing instead, stock still, feet entwined with the ground. His stalwart brethren clicked gracefully as they cantered across the bumpy ground. "Aspire to be like them" he thought, you're from the same pack after all.
With fictile herd together ride,
On studded grass and plastic tide.
With lock unto each step to ground,
Cast built up stride on cantered sound.
Stray turgid mane and blocked recourse,
With each step clicks a Lego Horse.
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