When I was younger, I used to do drugs
It was my recreation
But sometimes I couldn't get people to buy
Me booze at the petrol station
So I turned to weed, which was easy to find
It made shitty programs seem funny
The only slight problem with smoking herb, though
Is that to get it, you need some money
So one day I realised I had no more cash
The situation was dramatic
Until a friend recommended to me
To smoke a bowl of catnip
I was skeptical, as most would be
And there's a good reason for this
That shit didn't work; that friend was a jerk
I think he was taking the piss
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