Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Flashback - Michelle Cleary

As I stood staring into the gaping chasm in front of me I could see nothing but darkness, there seemed to be no life at all.
"Are you coming in? The tour is heading in now and we can't wander alone" asked my friend.
"Sure, I'm comin' in a sec". But as I said it I could not bring myself to move, the darkness scared me, to my very core, it was something that happened as a child and I have never fully gotten over it. No-one but me and my friend knows about it and I intended to keep it that way.
I was with my mother in the park around sunset and we were sitting watching everyone leave for the day as we sat and my mum told me stories about fantastic adventures into the unknown by princes to rescue their damsels in distress so they could be with their true love and live happily ever after. Of course my mum didn't believe in such things but she told me the stories to keep me happy. We sat under an oak tree until it got dark and drank from our flask of hot chocolate. This was our ritual every Saturday, a method of escape from the pursuits of happiness in a world that had given up on us.
"It's time to leave sugar", my mum told me, "lets go."
So we got up and started the journey through the weaving paths out of the park, taking our time and wanting to soak in the calm summer night, stars beaming down on us. They made the walk back in the dark a magical one, but as we were walking jovially a shadow appeared in front of the street lamp ahead and stood rigidly waiting for us to reach it.
My mum grabbed my hand tight and tried to careen away by stepping onto the grass, trying to get away from this shadow.
She leaned down to me and told me not to let go of her no matter what. The person followed us and eventually started walking faster to catch up and out of the darkness I heard a loud noise that took me by surprise and I flinched. I felt my mum's hand loosen on mine as she fell to the ground. I couldn't see her face but I could hear her breathing and it was rushed and shallow.
"MUM!? Mummy?" I wanted her to talk to me, hold me so I would be safe.
The person came rushing at us and stopped so they were leaning over us. All of a sudden he reached down and I screamed , screamed hoping that there was someone around to hear me, I scurried backward trying to get away but I hit a tree trunk behind me. He continued to reach down and gripped my mothers bag, ratched through it and then ran off into the night avoiding all street lamps. I went back to sit with my mother as her breathing slowly stopped. I sat with her in the lingering darkness the entire night until someone came across us on their morning run.
***
"Are you OK?" I heard my friend asking, "we don't have to go in if you don't want to".
"No,lets go, being afraid of the dark is something I'm going to have to get over, what is the point in life when you can't even conquer your own fears, and I WILL conquer mine".

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