Easter Special; Zombies - Fargo

Brian: Look, I swear that’s Jesus over there.

Mike: I think you right, I tell you what go over and speak to him, and I will pay for dinner.

Brian: Sounds appealing, but blimey Mike it’s Jesus, what on earth would I say to him?

Mike: Ask him anything, I’m sure he’s very approachable, he’s only sitting alone having a glass of milk, maybe he could do with a bit of company. 

Brian: Alright here goes nothing. (Walks over to a milk sipping Jesus) Hi Jesus, I take it you are Jesus?

Jesus: Of course.

Brian: So you are real then?

Jesus: What’s that supposed to mean?

Brian: I thought you may have been a rumour, you know born out of a severe case of Chinese whispers.

Jesus: My dear brother, I can assure you that is not the case. I’m real and I’m back walking the earth on this fine Easter Sunday.

Brian: Ah so you live again, again. In fact I lost count, how many times have you died and come back to life?

Jesus: I die for you. I die for everyone.

Mike: Hey Brian, ask him if he’s a Zombie.

Jesus: Michael, I am not a zombie, for I am here, now living and breathing, a zombie is the walking dead, I do walk, but I am not dead! I’m back.

Mike: What you doing here then? Drinking milk?

Jesus: I have come back to walk the earth…

Mike: And drink milk.

Brian: Mike man…

Jesus: Do you believe in me, Brian and Michael? Do you believe in the power of God?

Mike: Well to be honest mate it all sounds…..

Brian: Hold on mate lets hear what he has to say first! Say we do believe in you, and God and all that, what would that mean exactly?

Jesus: Have you not read the Bible?

Mike: Nah man, we don’t like books, I read the Daily Star though, but your not mentioned too much, no offence. So what happens if we believe?

Jesus: Very well., if you believe and follow our religion, read the bible and pray, and love myself and our Lord ,you will be granted eternal life, if you don’t you will perish.

Mike: Bit harsh.

Brian: We believe we believe, Jesus save us from our sins.

Jesus: I will die for the world once more! But first I shall finish my milk.

Mike: It’s been an odd day.

Brian: Don’t piss him off Mike, you heard what they can do.

Mike: Alright alright, don’t see why he and the mighty Lord get the final say so. I would like some say in how my life goes,

Brian: Shut up will you, can I trust you to not offend him whilst I go to the toilet.

Mike: (Whispers) I won’t, to be honest it sounds like a good deal, just read a book and do as we are told we get to live forever, Christmas has come early, ha literally!

Brian: Exactly, and he is gonna die for the world again this afternoon, at least we can go for a pint.

Mike: Okay. (Brian walks off and goes to the toilet, Mike turns to Jesus, who is just finishing his Milk) Jesus does it bother you that the date you died changes every year so it can fall on a Sunday, and the fact you died for our sins, and we celebrate that by eating chocolate eggs, bit weird init!