Plastic - Fargo

MR BABOO WALKS INTO THE DARK ROOM WHERE UNDER THE GLEAM OF LIGHT EMANATING FROM THE LAMPSHADE ABOVE SITS IAN AT A DESK, OF WHICH HE IS HANDCUFFED TO. APART FROM THIS THE ROOM IS EMPTY. BEHIND IAN THERE IS A WINDOW, BUT YOU CANT SEE ANYTHING THROUGH IT AS ITS BLACKED OUT. MR BABOO SITS IN A CHAIR OPPOSITE IAN. BABOO CROSSES HIS ARMS. HE LOOKS AT IAN WITH INTEREST.

Baboo
Why are you here Ian?

Ian
You tell me, I’m not sure where I am. Why am I under arrest?

Baboo
What makes you think your under arrest?

Ian (Looking annoyingly at his handcuffed hand)
I will give you 3 guesses! My fucking hands are handcuffed, that sort of gives me the impression that I’m under arrest or I’m here against my will.

Baboo
So you think you’re here against your will? That’s interesting. (Brings out a notepad and pen from his jacket pocket, and jots some notes down)

Ian
I don’t know why I’m here, so yes Sherlock, I’m here against my will, because I haven’t done anything wrong, in fact I don’t even think you’re the police.

Baboo
Your right, we’re not the police and you have not broken the law, nor are you being held here against your will, so Ian, what do you think about that?

Ian (Looking irate and perplexed)
What the fuck? Then where and why the HELL am I here, you have had me waiting ages you obnoxious little four eyed prick, handcuffed to a desk not knowing what the shitting balls is going on, what am I supposed to think? I want you tell me what’s going on right now. And STOP writing everything I’m saying!

Baboo
I understand your level of anger, but let me assure you that its not I or anyone else that’s responsible on your being here other then yourself.
Now before you start going off on another irate tangent I’m going to need you to listen to me, and do as I say, as it’s a matter of life and death, and believe me when I say that this is no exaggeration. Are we clear Ian?

IAN LOOKS OF ANGER TURN TO LOOKS OF CONCERN. BUT A FEELING OF TRUST SUDDENLY SWIMS THROUGH EVERY FEELING IN HIS BODY, WHICH THEN LEADS HIM TO NODD HIS HEAD.

Baboo
Good man. Right I know why your here, and I’m doing my up most to make sure that this isn’t the case for much longer. But this means as I said full cooperation.. And I think we understand each other on that one now, so I’m going to need you to close your eyes, and keep them shut until I say otherwise are we clear Ian?

IAN AGAIN NODDS AND SHUTS HIS EYES. BABOO LEANS OVER AND REPEATEDLY FLICKS IAN ON THE FOREHEAD NUMEROUS TIMES. THEN HE STOPS AND SMILES, IAN DID NOT SAY ANYTHING OR FLINCH AS THOUGH NOTHING AT ALL HAD HAPPENED. BABOO WRITES SOME MORE NOTES, AND THEN LOOKS UP AT IAN, HIS EYES STILL REMAIN SHUT.

Baboo
Just as I thought, open your eyes.

Ian (Opens eyes)
What was that for?

Baboo
Can you tell me, what do you think a coma is?

Ian
A deep sleep, sort of thing, everyone knows what a coma is.

Baboo
Indeed the word coma comes from the Greek word Koma, K-O-M-A, which means state of sleep, but in fact a coma is not the same as being asleep. You can wake someone easily who is asleep, by er, talking to them or shaking them and so on, but this is not the case for a coma. If your in one, your alive and breathing, but so unconscious that you can't respond to any stimuli, for example pain infliction, or direct noise. You could say if it were you Ian, in a coma and I flicked you say, in the forehead, it would probably be safe to assume that you would not be able to feel it.

Ian
I don’t get your point, all I want to know is how I got here, (turns to blacked out window and points) and I want to know who’s behind there! I can hear shuffling so don’t tell me that no one is behind there.

Baboo
When did you start hearing shuffling?

Ian
Just now, who is it?

Baboo
Excellent, we are making good progress, I’m going to need you to forget about me now, we are in danger of making things worse, I’m going to leave the room, your going to have to relax and not think too much. Just do one thing for me when I’m gone, concentrate on the noise from behind the window. Bye for now Ian, its been a pleasure talking to you.

Ian
What the…???

BABOO LEAVES THE ROOM. IAN LOOKS CONFUSED, AND FRIGHTENED. HE LISTENS HARD TO SEE IF HE CAN HEAR ANY NOISE. THE SHUFFLING IS THERE BUT VERY FAINT, HE TURNS TO SEE IF HE CAN SEE ANYTHING, BUT HE CANT. HE TURNS BACK AND LOOKS AROUND THE EMPTY ROOM, THEN HE CAN HEAR A NOISE COMING FROM THE DOOR IN FRONT OF HIM, HE LOOKS FORWARD, THE DOOR SLOWLY OPENS A SHADOW APPEARS. THE SHADOW WALKS NEARER AND TO IAN'S HUGE SHOCK AND SURPRISE HE SEES HIMSELF STANDING UNDER THE GLARE OF THE LIGHT IN FROM OF HIM. IAN 2 SITS DOWN AND SMILES AT IAN. IAN LOOKS DUMBSTRUCK.

Ian 2
Hello Ian, now this may seem somewhat of a shock but please lets put that to one side and discuss the situation of Baboo.

Ian
What the.. How… what Jesus, fuck…who is Baboo?

Ian 2
Baboo? He is the very charming man that sat in this very seat just now, funny thing is, a charming man he is not! No sir, I was watching his sham of a display from behind that window, it was me you heard shuffling through there, I heard every word he said. Or every Lie he said, now this is going to sound strange but lets face it its not that normal of a day so far anyway, your sitting in front of yourself having a conversation about Baboo. That’s not what we normally do on a Sunday is it Ian, no, so Baboo was trying to make out that your in a coma! I know, what a cunt! I don’t know why he tried telling you that, its of no use at all, and he was flicking your head, I’m gonna say it straight, the mans a menace.
But unfortunately I wish I had some good news, your handcuffed to that desk because you cant ever leave, and soon enough your going to loose the use of your limbs and the use of everything, Bloody hell mate, I don’t like being the one to tell you this but your dead. Your moments away from nothing, it’s a shame but I’m not going to sugar coat it for you, that won’t do any good. Your dead there’s no two ways about it, and there is nothing I or we or whatever can do about it. I’m so sorry.

Ian
What the fuck am I, are you, are we talking about, how can I be dead, I’m talking to you right now, in a room, in this place wherever the fuck this place is…

Ian 2
That’s my point, this place, its nowhere, all I can say is it’s the place between life and death, that’s all I know sort of like plastic tits, feels like their real, but in the end you find out its all false. I’m sorry Ian but we, I and you are truly up shits creek. And yes without a paddle. (Pause)
Its happening, I can feel it, you cant move your arms now, I’d better be off!

Ian (Trying and failing to moves arms)
What’s happening you cant leave, help me get out of here, please….

Ian2
No can do!

IAN 2 WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM, IAN THEN STRUGGLES TO MOVE, HE CANT MOVE HIS ARMS BUT STILL MOVES HIS TORSO AND HEAD AROUND. HE BEGINS TO CRY, THEN FROM NOWHERE HEARS SOME MUSIC, ITS KATE BUSH’S WUTHERING HEIGHTS SURROUNDS THE ROOM HIS FAVOURITE SONG. A LIGHT APPEARS BEHIND HIM. HE TURNS AND THROUGH THE BLACKED OUT WINDOW IS IAN'S WIFE MICHELLE STANDING IN THE LIGHT. THE MUSIC IS STILL PLAYING.

Michelle
Don’t listen to you, your alive, get up and walk out of the door.

Ian
Michelle, I can’t move.

Michelle
You can move my love, just do it, look the handcuffs are not there, (she points at Ian’s hand, the handcuffs have gone) You see just stand up and walk out. I’m on the other side. And Ian I love you, believe in me!!

Ian
I love you to.

MICHELLE VANISHES. THE MUSIC IS NOW MUCH LOUDER. IAN LOOKS AGAIN AT HIS HANDS, THEY ARE FREE, HE THEN TRIES TO STAND UP, AFTER SOME STRUGGLING HE MANAGES. IT BEGINS TO GET WINDY IN THE ROOM, AND HE SLOWLY MOVES OVER TO THE DOOR. HE OPENS THE DOOR WITH A SMILE.

WHATS REAL, WHATS NOT.

FADE TO BLACK.