Iron Fish - Fargo

EXT: OUTSIDE JAMES, A YOUNG INVENTOR OF SORTS, WITH WILD HAIR AND LITTLE SPECTACLES LAYING ON THE RIM OF HIS NOSE WALKS OVER TO HIS FRIEND, NORMAN, AND LOOKS AT HIM WITH UTTER EXCITEMENT. NORMAN STANDS THERE NOT LOOKING AMUSED.

NORMAN
Why on earth did u wake me this early James honestly I have a busy day ahead.

JAMES
Ah Norman your enthusiasm is touching, truly it is. The reason in which I have woke u is because I have created the greatest machine of all time.

NORMAN
(Looking very confused, then the confusion turns to a look of boredom)
James, in all honesty I have to say the thought of punching you has never been even occurred to me until now, in fact the idea seems so good I find it impossible not to rid it from my brain, like a terminal tumor if you will.

JAMES
(Happily)
Pipe down Norman, its only 6 in the morning on this fine summers day and I assure you that its going to be a busy one, but Im afraid it you wont be spending it at work.

NORMAN
(Anger turning to unintentional enthusiasm)
What on earth are you going on about? Look I haven’t time to waste I will have to leave here in just a few minutes, now will you get on with it, what this thing that you have created that’s excites you so!

JAMES
I sense a little enthusiasm in your voice Norman

NORMAN ROLLS HIS EYES, JAMES GRABS HIS ARMS AND THEY WALK AROUND THE CORNER OF JAMES HOUSE AND INTO THE BARN IN THE PADDOCK. IN THE BARN THERE LOOKS TO BE A MACHINE UNDER A COVER, NORMAN CANT SEE WHAT IT IS, BUT ITS QUITE BIG.

NORMAN
Well, what’s this James, is it a machine?

JAMES
(looking excited and pleased with himself)
A Machine of sorts yes.

NORMAN
Well can you uncover this, as I say I simply haven’t the time.

JAMES
Look, lets get this one thing straight, we are going to spend the day together in this wonderful invention of mine. I assure you, your going to be amazed.

NORMAN
Ok then James, I can see this is going to be a very trying day for me, so uncover this and amaze me, and I will consider spending the day fawning over your genius and the beauty over your machine.

JAMES
That you will, that you will.

NORMAN ROLLS HIS EYES AGAIN, AS JAMES WALKS OVER TO HIS MACHINE. HE GRASPS
HOLD OF ONE END OF THE COVER WHICH LAYS OVER THIS MACHINE WHICH IS SLIGHTLY BIGGER THEN BOTH MEN. JAMES THEN MOTIONS NORMAN TO GRAB THE OTHER SIDE. THEY PULL OFF THE COVER AND UNCOVER JAMES INVENTION WITH IS WHAT APPEARS TO BE A GIANT IRON FISH WITH A WINDOW WHICH NORMAN NOTICES HAS A COCKPIT WITH TWO SEATS. NORMAN STANDS THE CONFUSED, STUNNED ANNOYED AND VERY ANGRY ALL AT ONCE. JAMES STANDS THERE PROUD AND OVER THE MOON WITH JOY. NORMAN THROWS JAMES AN ANGRY LOOK.

NORMAN
What the FUCK is this, a joke?

JAMES
What on earth are you talking about, its a great machine is Pauline.

NORMAN
(Through gritted teeth)
Pauline?

JAMES
Yes Norman I named her Pauline after the late Wendy Richards from Eastenders, I have always had a strange crush on her ever since I saw the repeats of are you being served when I was a boy.

NORMAN
Even while she was that shouty old hag in a soap opera.

JAMES
Yes indeed, it seemed more naughty to fancy an old lady, any slightly off topic now, this machine, I a space ship, it had rockets at the back which you will see, it acts like a plane, but can fly into deep space, I have studied for years and this has been a project I have had since I was a boy when I fell off the toilet and banged my head.

NORMAN
That explains it. It’s a giant fish.

JAMES
I like fish, that’s where the idea was born, in my toilet by my fish tank. And you Norman you are to be with me on my first trip into the great unknown.

NORMAN
Are you mental I’m not going in that thing, your insane.

JAMES
Perhaps, or maybe the greatest mind of all time.

NORMAN
I'm sticking with insane.

JAMES
Come with me Norman.

JAMES CLIMBS INTO THE MACHINE. PUTS ON SOME GOGGLES AND LOOKS HAPPILY AT NORMAN

JAMES
Come Norman

NORMAN
(Stands still)
No thanks I will wait here to see what happens.

JAMES
So be it, you are about to witness a new first, something so remarkable it will imprint on your mind and soul forever.

NORMAN
Its not safe James.

JAMES NOT HEARING A WORD NORMAN SAID FIRES UP THE ENGINE, AND DRIVES THE IRON FISH OUT OF THE BARN. NORMAN MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND FOLLOWS THE FISH OUTSIDE OF THE BARN, JAMES THROWS A LOOK TO NORMAN AND SALUTES, NORMAN AGAIN ROLLS HIS EYES BUT SALUTES BACK. JAMES PULLS AWAY FAST IN THE FISH, AND THEN AFTER A MINUTES IT TAKES OFF IN THE AIR AND IT FLIES HIGH, THEN HIGHER AND HIGHER, NORMAN LOOKS AMAZED. THEN ITS OUT OF EYESIGHT. NORMAN CLAPS AND JUMPS AROUND. THEN A FEW SECONDS LATER IT COMES FLYING DOWN, NORMAN LOOKS WORRIED AND SCARED AND SHOUT FOR JAMES, THE IRON FISH FALLING THROUGH THE SKY IN ON FIRE AND IT SMASHES DOWN IN THE FIELD IN A BIG BALL OF FLAMES. NORMAN JUMPS UP HAVING FALLEN DOWN AND STANDS THERE SHOCKED. JAMES IS DEAD IT'S AN ON FIRE IRON FISH.