Orange - Fargo

SUSIE OPENS HER FRONT DOOR, SHE LOOKS DOWN TO SEE AN ORANGE FRUIT PLACED DIRECTLY IN THE CENTRE OF HER DOOR MAT. SLIGHTLY PUZZLED SHE PICKS UP THE ORANGE WALK BACK INDOORS AND CLOSES THE DOOR BEHIND HER. SHE WALKS INTO THE KITCHEN AND SITS DOWN AT THE DINING TABLE AND PLACES THE ORANGE IN FRONT OF HER, SHE WEARS A PERPLEXED EXPRESSION. 
SUSIE IS ABOUT TO PEEL THE SKIN OF THIS ORANGE AND JUST AS SHE BEGINS TO DO SO THE PHONE RINGS, INSTANTLY SHE ANSWERS.

Susie: Hello?

Voice: I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

Susie: (Frightened voice) Do what?

Voice: Peel the orange.

Susie: What, why?

Voice: It would kill you. And we wouldn’t want that.

Susie: What? Why would it kill me?

Voice: That there in front of you is no normal orange. In fact I can safely say it hardly performs any of the functions you would expect from an orange that you would buy down the local supermarket. It wouldn’t provide you with taste or juice, it would kill you, and that is all you need to know. For now.

Susie:  (Concern growing) Who are you and what is this all about? Who put it there?

Voice: My name is The Sunshine, and it was I who put it there. I’m going to need to come in and sit down, is this going to be a problem, if so I will come in anyway but won’t be as pleasant company, so I should oblige if I were you.

Susie: (Tears growing in her eyes) What do you want with me, are you going to kill me?

Sunshine: If I wanted to kill you I would of done it already as I’m at your front door, and it wouldn’t take me a second. So out of politeness will you let me in, I can assure you your in safe hands.

HE HANGS UP THE PHONE. SUISE THEN FRIGHTENED OUT OF SKIN, AND SHAKING SLOWLY WALKS  OVER TO THE FRONT DOOR, SHE SLOWLY OPENS IT WHERE SHE FINDS A MAN IN A LONG COAT AND A HAT, SMOKING A PIPE. HE SLOWLY WALKS IN AND CLOSES THE DOOR, SHE WALKS BACK TO THE KITCHEN TABLE AND SITS DOWN IN FRONT OF THE ORANGE, HE SITS OPPOSITE.

Sunshine: Now that wasn’t too hard was it?

Susie: What is this orange? And why are you here?

Sunshine: I’m here because you were chosen Susie, by The People Of The Sun, and we are here to show you the path you must go down. We have been looking over you for a while, these oranges grown from a farm on the planet at the other end of the universe, and we use them to watch over the Chosen ones, which there are only few. We make sure you go down the path set for you, until its time for your new beginning, but unfortunately due to an administration error you missed a certain path that was going to set you on your way to our planet, in a bid to rid the universe of the great evil that is plaguing it even as we speak, so I have had to intervene. You are special Susie, and I know this may be a lot to take in but it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. For that I can only apologise, and if you wish to make a complaint, I have some forms to fill in and we can sort out some compensation. But that may have to wait.

Susie: Is this for real Sunshine?

Sunshine: Yes I’m afraid so, you have always been important, did you think it was really circumstance that led you to be a women in your 20’s living on your own with no job. No that was us.

Susie: Oh thanks!

Sunshine: We needed you to do these things, be in this position so the transition wouldn’t be as difficult for you to cope with. You have no life here, but with what you capable of on our planet, the rulers of the universe, is so much more, you can live a longer life achieve things you could never achieve, travel through space and time.

Susie: This is all too much.

Sunshine: Come with me and I can show you. 

Susie: How do you get here? How are we getting there?

Sunshine: (Picks up the orange) With this Susie, it’s a tracking device that teleports us to our main ship. Which is parked in Cornwall.

Susie: Cornwall?

Sunshine: Yes we needed room, it’s a rather larger orange spaceship!

Susie: I can’t just leave.

Sunshine: We control the universe, you can, we just like to ask permission before we make things happen, we are people persons!

Susie: Your going to need to prove it first.

SUNSHINE GRABS HER HAND AND HE THEN TOUCHES THE ORANGE AND THEN WITHIN SECONDS OF WHAT FELT LIKE DRAMATIC MOTION SICKNESS, THEY APPEAR IN CORNWALL, NEXT TO A VERY BIG ORANGE.

Sunshine: How’s that for proof?

Susie: (Amazed) Ok, I’m having a rather strange Wednesday. (Pause) Ha orange Wednesdays.

Sunshine: Come Susie, join me in my orange.