INT: A DARK BAR, TWO UNHAPPY LOOKING 30 SOMETHING MEN SITTING ON LARGE STALLS, ONE SIPPING A BRANDY ONE GULPING A LAGER.
BOTH MEN LOOK TROUBLED, ONE DEPRESSED AS IF HE HAS NOTHING TO LOOSE, THE OTHER ANGRY LIKE HE COULD BURST INTO FLAMES.
THE MAN WITH BRANDY LOOKING LIKE HE HAS NOTHING TO LOOSE GOES BY THE NAME OF SMITHY, NO ONE KNOWS WHY BECAUSE HIS NAME IS BRIAN, BRIAN MOTIONS THE BARTENDER OVER. THE BARTENDER, LOOKING VERY DISGRUNTLED BY HAVING TO DO THIS MAKES SURE IT TAKES LONGER THEN NECESSARY .
BARTENDER
Yeah?
SMITHY
Fill me up, (Looks at the man sitting next to him) would u like another looks like you need it?
THE OTHER MAN DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING BUT SMITHY JUST WINKS AT THE BARTENDER IN A WAY THAT SUGGESTS JUST TO GET THEN MAN ANOTHER LAGER. THE BARTENDER THEN POURS THE BRANDY AND THEN THE LAGER. SMITHY MOVES TWO STALL NEARER TO THE OTHER MAN TAKING HIS BRANDY AND THE LAGER WITH HIM.
SMITHY
Can I ask your name friend? (Passes drink over)
JAKE
It’s Jake and I don’t want a stupid meaningless conversation, but the lager I like so thanks, but please friend, I need to think. (sips the lager)
SMITHY
Well what u gotta think about?
JAKE
That’s none of your concern
SMITHY
Well if its any consolation my wife left me for another man, which I have just found out is my best, no ex best friend, and to top that I punched my boss in the face and got sacked.
JAKE
(Frowns)
Why did u punch ur boss?
SMITHY
He’s my ex best friend and the new lover of my soon to be ex wife and he was telling me that if my numbers don’t improve we will have to have a “serious talk”, he didn’t know I knew until I smacked him.
JAKE
Jesus that is a bad day, man.
SMITHY
(Sips Brandy)
Soooo, whats wrong with you?
JAKE
I can’t tell u that. Just gotta think that’s all, look I'm sorry about whats happened with you, and thanks for the beer but I gotta lot to sort out.
SMITHY
Tell me my friend, look whatever it is I can help, I have nothing to loose, I have nowhere to go, so really I need to do something, and if it means helping an unhappy stranger im here for you buddy.
JAKE
Ok, I do need help but its serious and its complex and I'm gonna need u to understand that it happened for a really good reason, just come outside and take a look.
THEY BOTH GET UP AND WALK OUTSIDE AND DOWN A DARK ALLY TO WHERE JAKE'S CAR IS PARKED, ITS GENTLY RAINING, SMITHY LOOKS A LITTLE CONCERNED BUT STAYS ANYWAY. JAKE PULLS HIS KEYS FROM HIS TROUSER AND OPENS THE BOOT, AND TO THE SHOCK OF SMITHY HE SEE’S A DEAD BODY.
SMITHY
Oh my god
JAKE
Let me explain this cock sucker was fucking my wife and then attacked me there was a car chase then he stopped….
SMITHY
(Jumps in)
That my and my ex best friend and ex boss who was fucking….
JAKE
(Jumps in with a smile)
Your soon to be ex wife
SMITHY
(Smiles)
What a happy accident. Don’t get me wrong I think murder is at times uncalled for but I have to say on this occasion its right on the money,so what u need help with.
JAKE
Help me dispose of the body.
SMITHY
You got it pal.
THEY DRIVE OFF INTO THE DARK.
EXT: OUTSIDE IN WOODLAND THEY ARE DIGGING THE GRAVE, AFTER A WHILE AND A COUPLE OF TIME OUTS THEY FINISH AND THROW THE BODY IN THE GRAVE. AFTER THEY FILL THE GRAVE UP THE GET INTO JAKE'S CAR.
JAKE
Thanks pal
SMITHY
No thank you Jake I cant tell you how much pleasure that gave me.
JAKE
Can I buy you another brandy?
SMITHY
My friend thank you I would love one, and also that bar we were at has a karaoke machine, we could have a sing song
FADE TO BLACK
INT: BACK AT THE BAR JAKE AND SMITHY ARE ON A STAGE IN FRONT OF AN EMPTY BAR APART FROM THE BARTENDER AND A WHORE SINGING STAGGER LEE BY NICK CAVE
BOTH MEN LOOK TROUBLED, ONE DEPRESSED AS IF HE HAS NOTHING TO LOOSE, THE OTHER ANGRY LIKE HE COULD BURST INTO FLAMES.
THE MAN WITH BRANDY LOOKING LIKE HE HAS NOTHING TO LOOSE GOES BY THE NAME OF SMITHY, NO ONE KNOWS WHY BECAUSE HIS NAME IS BRIAN, BRIAN MOTIONS THE BARTENDER OVER. THE BARTENDER, LOOKING VERY DISGRUNTLED BY HAVING TO DO THIS MAKES SURE IT TAKES LONGER THEN NECESSARY .
BARTENDER
Yeah?
SMITHY
Fill me up, (Looks at the man sitting next to him) would u like another looks like you need it?
THE OTHER MAN DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING BUT SMITHY JUST WINKS AT THE BARTENDER IN A WAY THAT SUGGESTS JUST TO GET THEN MAN ANOTHER LAGER. THE BARTENDER THEN POURS THE BRANDY AND THEN THE LAGER. SMITHY MOVES TWO STALL NEARER TO THE OTHER MAN TAKING HIS BRANDY AND THE LAGER WITH HIM.
SMITHY
Can I ask your name friend? (Passes drink over)
JAKE
It’s Jake and I don’t want a stupid meaningless conversation, but the lager I like so thanks, but please friend, I need to think. (sips the lager)
SMITHY
Well what u gotta think about?
JAKE
That’s none of your concern
SMITHY
Well if its any consolation my wife left me for another man, which I have just found out is my best, no ex best friend, and to top that I punched my boss in the face and got sacked.
JAKE
(Frowns)
Why did u punch ur boss?
SMITHY
He’s my ex best friend and the new lover of my soon to be ex wife and he was telling me that if my numbers don’t improve we will have to have a “serious talk”, he didn’t know I knew until I smacked him.
JAKE
Jesus that is a bad day, man.
SMITHY
(Sips Brandy)
Soooo, whats wrong with you?
JAKE
I can’t tell u that. Just gotta think that’s all, look I'm sorry about whats happened with you, and thanks for the beer but I gotta lot to sort out.
SMITHY
Tell me my friend, look whatever it is I can help, I have nothing to loose, I have nowhere to go, so really I need to do something, and if it means helping an unhappy stranger im here for you buddy.
JAKE
Ok, I do need help but its serious and its complex and I'm gonna need u to understand that it happened for a really good reason, just come outside and take a look.
THEY BOTH GET UP AND WALK OUTSIDE AND DOWN A DARK ALLY TO WHERE JAKE'S CAR IS PARKED, ITS GENTLY RAINING, SMITHY LOOKS A LITTLE CONCERNED BUT STAYS ANYWAY. JAKE PULLS HIS KEYS FROM HIS TROUSER AND OPENS THE BOOT, AND TO THE SHOCK OF SMITHY HE SEE’S A DEAD BODY.
SMITHY
Oh my god
JAKE
Let me explain this cock sucker was fucking my wife and then attacked me there was a car chase then he stopped….
SMITHY
(Jumps in)
That my and my ex best friend and ex boss who was fucking….
JAKE
(Jumps in with a smile)
Your soon to be ex wife
SMITHY
(Smiles)
What a happy accident. Don’t get me wrong I think murder is at times uncalled for but I have to say on this occasion its right on the money,so what u need help with.
JAKE
Help me dispose of the body.
SMITHY
You got it pal.
THEY DRIVE OFF INTO THE DARK.
EXT: OUTSIDE IN WOODLAND THEY ARE DIGGING THE GRAVE, AFTER A WHILE AND A COUPLE OF TIME OUTS THEY FINISH AND THROW THE BODY IN THE GRAVE. AFTER THEY FILL THE GRAVE UP THE GET INTO JAKE'S CAR.
JAKE
Thanks pal
SMITHY
No thank you Jake I cant tell you how much pleasure that gave me.
JAKE
Can I buy you another brandy?
SMITHY
My friend thank you I would love one, and also that bar we were at has a karaoke machine, we could have a sing song
FADE TO BLACK
INT: BACK AT THE BAR JAKE AND SMITHY ARE ON A STAGE IN FRONT OF AN EMPTY BAR APART FROM THE BARTENDER AND A WHORE SINGING STAGGER LEE BY NICK CAVE
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